#I fell asleep at like 8pm and just now woke up
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duck-woamn · 4 months ago
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dentist anxiety while at appointment 😔
Edit: -3 teeth in one appointment achievement acquired
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spoofyleaf · 1 day ago
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I’ve been trying to fix my sleep schedule, and so far it’s been me sleeping for a couple hours when I get back home, and then just,,, being awake all night and all next day until I get back home. Weekends are uhh,,, yeah.
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stuck-in-the-ghost-zone · 1 year ago
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oh my god everything makes sense now
#ive had so much troubke sleeping for the last like. 3 weeks. like i havent been getting more than 4 hrs of sleep most nights#and its SUCKED so bad and ive had the worst dreams ever like#its either mind empty blank 0 dreams whatsoever (<< which ive learned also sucks! feels bad and empty in the morning)#or like..trauma nightmares. like im back in high school type nightmares. and a few work stress dreams sprinked in for flavor#lkke this has been. An Issue.#I JUST FIGURED OUT WHY. AND I FEEL SO STUPID#ITS BECAUSE I DONT HAVE LOKI LIVING WITH ME ANYMORE.#im at my parents house for the weekend and . got here at like 8pm last night.#laid on the couch. loki jumped up on thr couch with me to cuddle#and ive always said hes so good at this bc hes warm and he lays on top of me so hes like a weighted blanket#and i cant move my arms to look at my phone or anything so its SO easy to fall asleep w loki cuddles#AT 9PM I FELL ASLEEP. i havent gone to sleep before midnight in like 2 months.#and when i had 2 get up to move to the guest bed he followed me.#and i just woke up from a nightmare and he was on the other side of the bed so i reached my hand out 2 pet him#and he laid his little chin on my hand and oh my god everything makes so much sense now.#ive always kind of half joked abt loki being an esa. because im like. he is. but not officially#hes never been trained for it and we dont have like. documentation for it bc ive never been officially diagnosed for anything (hell world)#so i feel bad calling him that bc it feels like im. disrespecting people that Actually Need esas#(<< coming from.a guy who Actually Needs An ESA Apparently.) what the fuck#head in hands. everything makes so much sense now#and normally id go all science brain on this like oh it was just one night iwas probably just too tired i need more evidence to be sure#but like. i have loterally not slept this well in a month and a half.#I have not gonento sleep before midnight in AT.LEAST the last two weeks. CONSISTENTLY .#head in habds.
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oflgtfol · 1 year ago
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ive been in a venom mood lately i keep telling myself maybe this is finally my sign to start reading comics again but then i just keep fucking falling asleep as soon as i get home
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miabebe · 3 months ago
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The Intruder's Eye (CSC)
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Was it really love if it didn't include just a little madness? What was love if it didn't cross the line? And how was it love if it didn't make one want to keep an eye at all times?
Pairing - Afab!reader x Choi Seungcheol
Word count - 6K (I failed the below 5k challenge T.T)
Genre - Oof buckle up my friends. This is a halloween special so I tried not hold back - its a psycho-thriller, there's smut and a whole lot of pyscho-ness whelp Warnings under the cut!
A/n - It's the week leading up to Halloween folks! Unfortunately I'm not the biggest fan of clowns and ghosts and vampires etc, but I do love me a good dose of psychos (who I think are scarier btw) so here you goooo! You can also check out Jeonghan's and Joshua's!
Again @tusswrites and @tomodachiii - what would I do without y'all 🫂 this piece is basically all you guys!
warnings - intruder in the house, mentions of stalking, medications, deranged characters, triggering descriptions of a home intrusion, smut, homemade porn (lol), bondage (mouth and hands), blowjobs, cum eating, riding, rough sex, mentions of toys and anal, manhandling, psycho behaviour, please forgive me I can only allow myself to be this unhinged during spooky season
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It was the soft pitter patter of the rain against the car window that woke you up. 
Slowly fluttering your eyes open, you looked out down the dark, lonely road on the other side, at the street lights were still obscured by the downpour. It's not as torrential as it was when you stepped out of the grocery store a while ago. It was too heavy for you to even drive then so you settled in your car for a while, waiting for the rain to get less harsh. You didn't realise when you fell asleep. 
Looking at the 8pm flashing on your phone screen and the way darkness had engulfed everything around, a strange panic rose in you. You weren't really afraid of staying out too late but given the things that had been happening around you recently - you didn't want to take the risk. 
Turning on the engine and shifting the gears, you took a deep breath, and started driving  towards home. 
The street was empty for the most part - not many cars were on the road given the warnings for the incoming storm earlier that day. You didn't have a choice but to leave - you were suddenly running low on supplies, the shopping list in your hand was almost a page long. You glanced at the groceries at the backseat with a satisfied sigh - guess the newfound cardio routine was doing a good job in working up your appetite. 
As you neared your house, the streets became more illuminated, much to your relief. Unlike the rest of the town, your neighbourhood was a much safer space - there were streetlights, surveillance cameras and disguised cops always patrolling the area. Most people who resided here didn't know but many of the inhabitants of these row houses were in fact people placed on witness protection. You knew because you were one of them. 
One year ago, your testimony in a high profile case had led to some very bad people finding themselves behind bars. In exchange, you were promised protection, leading to your identity being morphed and your life being relocated to this locality. You were promised that nothing would happen to you here, that you would be very safe. You believed it then, but not so much now - not when you turned into your street and noticed the camera at the end of it was short circuited. Perhaps the storms over the last few days had a hand in it. 
You didn’t think much of it.
But maybe you should.
Because as you grabbed your groceries and ran to the door, fishing for your keys, you realised you didn't need them. The door was not locked. 
You racked your brains to remember if you had locked the door before you left or if you were in too much of a hurry to beat the incoming rain. Your memory is a little fuzzy, it has been like that for awhile, but you were too cold and aching to just get inside to give it any further thought.
 You must've forgotten to lock it - what other explanation could there possibly be? 
Balancing the bags in one hand, you slowly pushed the door open as you stepped in, flipping the switches with bated breath. 
Everything seemed fine, nothing felt out of place. Releasing a breath you tell yourself that everything is fine - you were clearly overthinking things. Paranoia had been a part of your life ever since the proceedings of that case - you were always wary, always suspicious, always scared. Though, you shouldn't be feeling that way anymore, you had taken your medication - you should be fine.
But how were you supposed to feel fine when every small thing made the hair on your skin stand. Like the curtains in the living room being open for example. You never kept the curtains open, especially not since your new neighbour moved in a few months ago. 
He called himself Choi Seungcheolwhen he knocked on the door to offer an introduction. You didn't know if that was his real name or the one the cops had given him as a part of the programme. Either way you didn't ask him lest he might ask you yours in return - you didn't need your identity compromised, not when the gang of those convicts was still actively looking for you. You had simply nodded and shut the door. 
Since then, you’ve always had the curtains closed. You had to, because somehow every time you looked out, Seungcheol was by his window, watching you. If you were being honest, Seungcheol was hot as fuck and a year ago, if a man like that was interested in you, you wouldn't have let him go. But things were different now - you couldn't trust anyone anymore.
Walking up to the window, you stumbled over the dumbbell in the way as you glanced at the neighbouring house. The two of your houses were the only ones on the street that weren't covered in Halloween decorations. It made sense - you were both single and did not have to deal with whining, crying, demanding children so there was no need for this facade. 
But you weren’t that lackluster, you did buy and keep some candy for the trick or treaters though you wouldn’t know if Seungcheol had done the same - he didn't seem too particularly fond of children. He never let them near the house. In fact he never let anyone into his house. You had never seen a woman or a friendly face from town or even a family member step into his place - he pretty much always kept to himself. It’s not like anyone else in this neighborhood had the luxury for such anyway.
At present, there was no sight of him or even his silhouette, with how the curtains of his house were drawn but all the lights were still on. Sighing a little in relief, you do the same, shutting the blinds. Still feeling the weight of the dumbbell against your foot, you pushed it out of the way, wondering how it had displaced itself from the rest of the workout equipment in the first place. You hadn’t even used those in a while now. 
Still lost in thought, you walked into the kitchen and as you turned the lights on, a shiver ran down your spine. 
Something was off, something did not seem right. 
At first glance everything seemed fine, but looking again carefully–nothing seemed right. The apron wasn't in its usual place by the spice rack, you don’t recall leaving out a glass of water on the counter, or leaving a packet of corn chips open. You never leave things out when you leave, you always put them away.
But things like this had been happening ever since you started your medication. You were more forgetful, and that was inconvenient but without your daily dosage it was like a fight between your nerves and caution - anything that moved invoked fear in you, every small sound made you shiver. There was no choice but to take those pills everyday. It was the only think keeping you sane. 
Shaking your head, you organized everything back in place again. Everything was fine. You had taken an extra dosage right before you left the house, you were just a little fazed from all the chemicals. Surely it was just your imagination, it wasn't like anyone could have entered the house in your absence….right? 
But there was a half eaten bowl of cereal in the sink and you… you were lactose intolerant, you didn't drink milk - that couldn't be yours. Hands shaking, you took a step back. 
Someone was in this house. 
Quickly opening the drawer, you grabbed a knife, gripping the handle hard and tight. The only question was, were they still in the house? 
Wiping the sweat off your face, you took a small careful step out of the kitchen. 
It was quiet, deadly quiet, there was not a sound to be heard, but the hum of the electrical appliances and the soft patter of the rain outside. Then you heard it, ears sharp and sensitive to the sound of water dripping. Slowly you moved towards the washroom, holding your weapon out, breath shaking. 
When you cautiously pushed the door open you noticed the floor was wet, water leaking from the shower head, drop after drop. You've never had this problem before, did you have a plumbing issue?
Stepping in, you tried to fix the faucet with your free hand. But no matter how many times you adjusted the hardware, water continued to drip, rendering you unsuccessful in your attempts. It felt like a really strong hand had broken the tap which was silly because you were definitely careful with how you handled your things? Neither could have broken this nor clearly, could you fix it. Annoyed by your failure and the thought of calling maintenance, you stepped out of the shower, catching sight of yourself in the mirror. 
There was a strange tiredness etched all over your features, hiding a stranger something behind it. Your eyes had sunken further into their sockets, thin wisps of hair framing your face - You’ve definitely had better days and was… was that a knife in your hand? 
You glanced at it quizzically. Why did you step into the shower with a knife? 
Softly smacking your head at your silliness, you walked back into the living room, leaving the tap for another day. Half yawning with tiredness were ready to retire for the night when your eyes fell on the grocery bags still waiting for you on the table - you had forgotten about it. Groaning at the thought of having to put everything away, you set the knife on the dining table and grabbed your purchases instead, taking them into the pantry. Perhaps it was because you were too deeply immersed in your organisation, but your otherwise sharp ears missed the rustling of the leaves outside, crunching under someone’s footsteps.
Going through the grocery checklist scribbled in horrible handwriting to make sure you had gotten everything, you swiftly began putting them all in their place. The pastas in the jars, the fruits in the baskets, the sauces in the tray. The heaviest thing you bought was perhaps those huge jars of protein powder. You weren't really sure why you decided to buy it - sure your doctor said you were too weak and needed to exercise to build strength but you didn't need to buy all of the products the Internet recommended to you. 
Telling yourself you'll find use for it later, you pushed them onto the shelves and turned to the meat instead, throwing them into the fridge. You didn't really know how to cook meat too well but you wanted to try. Seungcheol had once grilled some meat in his backyard and came over to offer you a few bites. When you tried to take it from him at the door, he pulled his hand back and cocked his head. 
“Are you not going to invite me inside?” 
He was always trying to make a move on you like that. You knew what he wanted, you knew what he had his eyes on but the answer was, no. You could take the deliciously cooked meat from him but couldn't let him into the house. It was too soon to trust him. 
But Seungcheol was relentless. 
It was evident with how he was the only one in town who turned up at the video store where you worked. And he came everyday. Normal people didn't borrow a new movie everyday, right? Clearly he was flirting with you. Or at least he was trying to. You only ever behaved professionally with him . Except sometimes, when he asked for movie recommendations of a very specific genre. You didn't really know many serial killer documentaries or crime podcasts to suggest, so you would simply ask a colleague to take over. Over the days, you watched him consume every last bit of thrillers available in the store and distantly wondered if he had a life outside of this consumption. 
Perhaps not. Seungcheol seemed a bit odd like that. 
He talked to everyone in town but didn't really seem to have any friends. He wasn't home for days together sometimes - you didn't really know the nature of his job so you couldn't tell why his absence was so frequent. He always drove that tiny pickup truck of his with some weird boxes and bags hidden under big blue plastic sheets in the trunk. . 
The whole deal about him was just not right. You knew something about him was not right. Even though he was incredibly pleasant on the eye, you had to be wary of him. 
You had to be wary of everything. . 
But maybe you weren't always as alert as you should be. Because it  was only as you were putting away the last of the snacks that you heard that sound - the thumping. 
It seemed like it was coming from outside…. Or was it upstairs? It felt like it was coming from right above, like the sound of someone's feet. 
And just like that,, you remembered the intruder again - the one who might still be in your home. 
Quickly you rushed to grab the knife from the table once more and held it out in defense. Whoever came to the house was most definitely still here, you could feel it in your bones. 
As you slowly made your way towards the stairs, trying to maintain a soft footfall to avoid the creaking of the stairs, another sound took you aback. 
No, not your racing heart - The doorbell. 
Turning sharply, you glanced at the door with wide eyes. Who could it possibly be?  At this late hour?
The ringing only became more persistent, morphing into knocks while you inched towards the door, grip on the knife tightening. 
As you slowly pressed down the handle and slightly opened the door, you were met with cheerful voices, much to your relief. 
“Happy Halloween!” 
Before you was a tiny ghost, a pirate, a couple of princesses and a buzz lightyear, all half your height, looking at you surprised. 
“Ms. L/n!” 
“Hey kiddos.” 
“Where's Mr. Choi?” The pirate pouted. “We thought we could finally get him to be nice to us, hand us some treats.” 
“Aw.” You pinched his cheek with your free hand. The one that was not hiding the knife behind the door. “Mr. Choi isn't in town sadly.” 
The little kid looked at you quizzically. “Then what are you doing in his house?” 
.
.
.
Oh. 
You blinked at him while he looked up at you expectantly. 
Then your lips split into a sweet, saccharine smile. 
“He asked me to look after it while he was gone.”
“When will Mr. Choi be back?” 
You glanced at the inquisitive little ghost, fiddling with the knife in your hand. 
Please, please don't make me use this. 
“Do you want an answer or candy?” You cocked your head cheekily. “I'm only giving out one.” 
“Candy!” They screamed as you laughed and reached for the packet you had just bought, ripping it open with the knife.
They watched excitedly as you dropped handfuls of chocolate into their little baskets and plastic pumpkins. With a scream of “Ms. L/N is the best!” they scurried away to their next target of the night. And so did you, tossing the knife onto the table once again.
You clutched your head and released a low hiss of irritation at the dull throb.Those stupid medicines were really getting to your head now, you were forgetting too many important things. Thank fuck for the children, otherwise you would have never remembered what really had to be done. 
Locking the door behind you, you quickly made your way up the stairs. There was no need to head softly - the stairs had a tendency to creak in your house, not in Seungcheol’s. 
The thumping from earlier was more pronounced now as your senses slowly cleared up, much like how the light flooded from underneath the bedroom door. The soft thumps are getting louder and louder as you neared it. With a twist of the knob and swing of the door, you tilt  your head with a smile. 
Light flooded from underneath the bedroom door, the soft thumping sound getting louder and louder as you neared it. Opening it wide, you cocked your head with a smile. 
There he was. 
Sitting on a chair in the middle of the room, Seungcheol was looking gorgeous as ever. He was dressed in just his grey sweatpants, the thick muscles of his shoulders and pecs bared before you. His biceps too were popping on either side thanks to the fact that his hands were tied at the back of the chair. Oh and his mouth was gagged shut, his words turning into muffled whimpers as he looked at you wide eyed, halting the stomping of his feet.
“I know, I know, I'm sorry.” You raised your hands apologetically. “I meant to be back soon but you know how I am, forgetful little me. I'm sorry baby.” You neared him, walking around his chair, bending to whisper in his ear. “But I see you're having your fun.” 
Your eyes flickered from the tent in his pants to the laptop you left on for his entertainment, right in the line of his vision. You see yourself on the screen, dressed in the hottest lingerie you owned, looking right in the camera with the vibrator held just where you needed him and only one name spilling from your mouth - Seungcheol. 
This wasn't the video you played from him before you left for the grocery store - perhaps they were auto playing, lucky him. You had hours of such footage of yourself - in all kinds of positions, with every possible toy, in role play costumes, in every possible color of lingerie, you had an unmatchable variety. The only thing common among all of them was his name. Choi Seungcheol. 
Could you be blamed? The man was unbelievably attractive. It wasn't like you didn't try to avoid him, to repel all that magnetism. You were well aware of your nature - it hadn't been long since you had gotten a chance to start afresh and you didn't want to spiral again. You really really didn't. 
But Seungcheol was persistent. He wouldn't stop flirting with you at any given chance, he kept trying to invite himself home, he was consistently intrusive. You kept him at bay for the longest time, at least until the day you had to return the box he had left with you, the one in which he gave you the grilled meat. 
You didn't expect him to open the door with his shirt off, slick with sweat, flushed and half panting. When you caught sight of the dumbbells behind him,  could tell he was working out but somehow you couldn't help but think this was probably how he looked when he fucked and god did that make your mouth water. 
That day he shouldn't have invited you in. Then you wouldn't have found your resolve crumbling so weakly. You wouldn't have found yourself under him being pounded like there was no tomorrow. You wouldn't have crossed the line like this. 
What started that day set off a cascade of events. Sleeping with Seungcheol became quite a regular act - there was no part of you that he had left unexplored, untouched. He was in every crevice, every cell, you were entirely consumed by him. When you were at work, all you could think about was how well he fucked you the day before. When you were on the way home, all you could think about was how well he was going fuck you today. Even after you reached, you always made it a point to immediately wash up, wear your nicest underwear and knock on his door. You always did it at his house. 
He did try to come to your place a couple of times but you consistently steered the two of you back to his house somehow. It was one thing to let him cum in you but to come into your house? You couldn’t have that happening, he’d ask too many questions - why do you never use the garage Y/n? Why was it always locked Y/n? Why did you have a ridiculous number of gardening tools in your house when you don’t even grow any plants Y/n? You knew the questions wouldn't seize and the answers weren’t good for him. They weren't good for anyone who's heard them all these years. 
Another reason you didn't want him home was because you didn't want to ruin the surprise. 
Now, Seungcheol was a self-sufficient man. He was happy with himself, his life, his home, his solitude. It was evident all he was looking for in you was a good fuck - afterall, he would never ask you to stay the night or to be his girlfriend even though you'd been seeing each other for months. You were okay with that….. for now. The two of you were still exploring, still understanding each other's bodies and limits. You didn't mind him taking his time, you needed your time as well. 
You see, Seungcheol loved his home. He loved every piece of furniture, every bowl, every mat - he was incredibly fond of his space, taking all the time and effort in the world to curate it. You, on the other hand, didn't really care much for your house. As long as it could fulfill basic needs and keep you safe, you were good - it wasn't like you stayed for long in one place anyways. But your heart knew that you wanted to stay with Seungcheol for the rest of your life. There was something dark about him too that told you he belonged with you the way you belonged to him. You wanted him to feel like he belonged to you too, you wanted him to feel at home with you. You wanted to be his home. 
That's why you took months together to design and turn your house into an identical replica of Seungcheol’s. 
And when you say replica you mean down to the T. Everything was the same. You made sure it was the same. All those times he was away for days together thanks to his job, you found yourself slipping into his house taking detailed notes of every object, every piece. You would only see, not touch or take anything away. Come on, you were no thief, thieves are bad people.. 
After that you had spent all your time online or going from store to store, finding originals and duplicates of his belongings. Given that he loved to have really exclusive pieces in his house they were not easy to procure but with a little sweet talk, a little threatening and a little unspeakable things, you had somehow managed to bring them all home. To the home you were making for him. 
Earlier this week, you had gotten hold of the last piece of the jigsaw puzzle - a childhood photo of Seungcheol's family, framed and hung on the wall. It was the hardest thing to get your hands on. His estranged sister would not leave her house for long enough - it took a major occupational accident at her husband's construction site to finally get her moving. 
With everything finally in place today, just as the sun began to set, you went over to Seungcheol's house to bring him over at last, to show him what you had done for him. Seeing how his front door was unlocked you stepped in, curiously looking around for him. But that feeling evaporated the moment you heard that sound - the sound of a woman moaning. 
It felt like the ground under your feet had slipped. Perhaps that was why you grabbed the baseball bat leaning against the wall, to give your shaking hands something to hold on to as you made your way to his bedroom…. He didn't even bother to shut the door. 
There he was, sitting on the bed with his laptop open before him, frantically getting himself off to the video of some pizza delivery girl getting her ���payment”. 
Porn. He was watching porn. 
The moment his eyes fell on you by the door, he quickly tucked his length into his sweats and jumped off the bed, looking at you like you were crazy. Oh no Choi Seungcheol. He didn't just do that. He shouldn't have. Maybe then you wouldn't have swung the bat and knocked him out cold. Maybe he wouldn't have found himself in the middle of the room all tied up when he came around. 
You just couldn't understand him. What was the need for him to look at other women or even think of one when you were right there? Was he bored of you? Were you not enough? You did everything you could to keep him - every depraved fantasy, every humiliating act, every time he was rough to bruise you for days together, you took it all, you begged for more. Then why was he doing this? 
When he finally opened his eyes, he didn't answer your questions, he was simply screaming to set free. Well of course the only thing you could do was to shut his mouth in some way and with him unable to speak, you had to find other ways to get answers. You needed to find out if Seungcheol was just not attracted to you anymore. 
That's why you brought out your video collection, little films you had taken of yourself back when you were still pushing him away, all while wondering what it was like to get fucked by him. His mouth may say whatever but anatomy couldn't lie right? There was something else that could stand up and answer you. 
You had meant to stay and watch, afterall, you were proud of the quality of your content but the flashes of thunder outside told you that perhaps it was wiser for you to go to the store first. You knew whatever was going to transpire wouldn't be over any time soon, you had to stock up before the storm locked you in. Besides, it was Halloween night, all the cute little kids would be coming around for candy, you didn't want to miss out on that. 
You didn't and thanks to them, you didn't succumb to your forgetfulness and miss out on this either. 
“There there.” You cooed, removing his gag and he coughed, unable to regain his ability to speak just yet. You waited for him to come around, walking back to sit on the edge of the bed as he looked at you meekly. 
“Water.” He whispered, voice just a little horse. 
You raised your eyebrow. How did he manage to sound so sexy all the time? 
“Thirsty are we?” You smiled. “I thought my gift might have helped.”
“Y/n please.” He groaned. “What kind of sick joke is this?” 
Oh. He thinks it's a joke. A little Halloween scare perhaps. A prank gone overboard. Oh he has no idea.
“I think it's me who you take for a joke.” You glanced down at his raging boner. “Or not, considering how excited you are.”
You got up, leaning over him, hand gripping the back of his chair. 
“I'll help you.” You licked your lips. “Either I'll untie you, take my little collection and get out of here. Or I'll help with your not so little predicament with any and every hole I have…. Pick your poison.” 
Seungcheol looked at you wide eyed. His breath was shaking, lips were quivering and a hundred and one things seemed to be running behind those pretty eyes. 
Slowly gulping, his Adams apple moving with a bob, he shut his eyes. 
“It's unbearable.” He mumbled. “It's just…. Please help me.” 
And you knew exactly what he wanted you to do.
Sliding off the bed, you got on your knees, crawling up to him, slotting yourself between his legs. Seungcheol’s eyes flew open when your hands found his thigh, a soft sigh tumbling out of his mouth. He loved to fuck your mouth. He loved how eager to please you always were, always trying to take in more of him, always trying to do better. God he loved it.
He watched as you pulled his sweats down the best you could and wrapped your tiny hand around his dick. He was raging hard, the tip flushed in an angry red, precum smeared all over. You were lucky he was in your control now. If he were allowed to have his way, he might just break you. 
Stroking him agonisingly slowly, you inched closer to place a small kiss on his tip, the softest interaction that had ever happened between the two of you. Before Seungcheol could even relish that moment you wrapped your lips around his length and took him all the way in. Fucking hell. Seungcheol thought he was going to pass out with how intensely you were blowing him. He wished you'd untie his hands. He'd go anything to just push your head down his dick and feel himself in your throat. That was a sureshot at making him come, these shallow and fast bobs of your head were only aggravating him. 
Maybe that's what you wanted. Because the moment he let out his tell tale groan, letting you know he was close, you pulled away with a pop and wrapped your hand around his cock instead. Before he could complain about losing the warmth of your mouth you began stroking him fast thanks to the wetness of your spit and before you knew it, he felt himself reaching that high, meaningless words leaving his mouth. With a few more jerks, he came all over himself in spurts, ropes of white coating his abdomen. 
As he tried to battle his feelings of relief after finding a much needed release, disappointment for not coming in your mouth, and slight fear, not understanding what the hell was going on, you slowly let him go, wiping your hand on his sweats. Looking straight into his eyes, you leaned forward, gathering the cum all over his skin with your tongue and showing it to him before you swallowed it. Fuck, Seungcheol felt the blood rushing down there again. He was far from done tonight. 
Getting up you looked at him questioningly though you were well aware of the answer. 
“Do you need more?”
Unable to do anything else, he nodded slowly, whispering please. 
Smirking, you quickly stripped yourself out of your clothes. You would have made a show out of it, tease him slowly but you were equally desperate to fuck him so you quickly abandoned that idea. Throwing your garments somewhere, you clambered onto his lap, aligning yourself over his dick. You didn't need any prep or lube, you were practically dripping from just blowing him. 
Slowly sinking onto his length you threw your head back, finally feeling full. Seungcheol moaned too, burying his face between your boobs as you bottomed out, your grip like a vice. Holding onto his shoulders you began fucking yourself on his length, snapping your hips relentlessly. You could tell the feeling was too much for Seungcheol too as he bit on the soft skin of your breasts. It stung painfully but you let him - you always let him do whatever he wanted to you anyways. 
“Tired?” He looked up at you with a triumphant smirk as your pace began to falter thanks to the not so comfortable position of your legs. “Are you finally going to ask me for help?”
You shook your head. You didn't want him to have the upper hand anymore.
“Don't be stubborn, doll. You know it's better when I have my hands on you.” He ran his tongue along your breast, relishing the sweet and salty taste of you. “Untie my hands and we can make this better y/n. I know how much you love my fingers up your ass, and how much you like the grip on my hands all over you and how much you want me . Come on baby, untie me.”
You didn't want to, you really didn't want to but a part of you knew he was right. He could make you feel so good. 
Reaching over you pulled on the knot holding his hands together and in a flash his hands gripped the bottom on your thighs and with the sheer strength of his that you loved, he got up, lifting you along with him. Immediately pinning you to the wall, he began thrusting into you, drawing out the most exquisite moans from you as he hit the spot again and again and again. When unable to hold it anymore, you came around him, he tossed you onto the bed, pounding into you mercilessly, making you cum around him one more time before he painted your ass and back with his own release. Even then the night was far from over. 
After that he fucked you almost till dawn, pushing you to the limit as he made you cum so many times, you couldn't even keep count anymore. All you knew was that every bit of your body was screaming and creaming in pleasure - it was confirmed, you had to have Seungcheol for life, you had to do whatever it took to keep this insane man forever. You didn't know how but you could think about that later. For now, as day break approached, the two of you passed out in his bed. 
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Seungcheol looked at you under the afternoon sun streaming into his room. You were fast asleep - he tried waking you up a couple of times but you just would not budge. Finally giving up he resorted to just staring at you. 
Last night was…. better than Seungcheol’s wildest dreams. He always knew he was a bit of a freak, but he didn't think he'd find someone to match it in this quiet town he had been reluctant to relocate to. Even when he first met you, he thought you'd be one sweet love making session at most but you took him completely by surprise. You were as wild as he was - you were down for anything he asked, you never said no and most importantly, you enjoyed it all. Seungcheol thought he had hit the jackpot with you. 
But yesterday was most definitely not normal. At that time he was thinking with his dick because all the blood in his body was clearly there but as he looked back at what happened, nothing about it was right. You had knocked him out, tied and gagged him up before you left him. You had hours of footage of you pleasuring yourself to the thought of him… 
Seungcheol had noticed the dates. It was way before the two of you had begun your little arrangement and he didn't know what to think about that. There were tiny sirens going off in his head telling him to run as fast as he could but Seungcheol couldn't stop staring at you. You were ridiculously beautiful and he just had the best sex of his life last night. 
When you whined softly and turned over in your sleep, Seungcheol finally rolled off the bed and dressed himself. Finding your scattered clothes on the floor he gathered them, looking at them with a frown. He couldn't have you wear these again and his clothes were far too big for your tiny frame. Maybe it was time to start making room in his closet for a few of your clothes.
Knowing how tired you must be given last night's events, he silently fished out the keys from the pocket of your pants and decided to bring you a fresh pair from your house. 
He shouldn't have gone over. He never should have stepped into your house. Maybe then the tiny sirens in his head wouldn't have become a full blown ringing. 
If he had never discovered the truth of your house, if he wasn’t staring at an exact replica of his space, maybe he would've never come to terms that last night was indeed extremely abnormal. 
You were not normal. 
Something was very very wrong with you, the dozens of medications on the dining table were a testament of that. Seungcheol knew he had to go. He had to leave you and that house and this town. He needed to run away from this madness.
But when he turned to leave, he felt his heart stop just for a second. 
There you were, right at the door, dressed in yesterday's clothes, looking at him expressionlessly. Your eyes ran over his face as he felt the hair on his skin stand. 
He had to go, he had to get the hell out of here. 
“Oh baby.” 
You cocked your head at him, leaning against the frame with a small smile. 
This was an expression you had never seen on Seungcheol's face before - a mix of shock and fear and repulsion. You could tell he wanted to run. You knew he would end things now, you knew it was over but alas, it was too late to let him go. 
You couldn't let him go. 
Taking a step ahead, you slowly closed the door behind you, inching closer to him, yesterday’s knife stashed safely in the back pocket of your pants.
“Do you want to see what's in my garage?” 
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A/n - As usual, comments and reblogs are much appreciated - I'd love to hear your thoughts, it really helps :) You can also read Jeonghan's and Joshua's :)
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plexivie · 5 months ago
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Recently searched :
Katsuki bakugou interview
bakugou edits
Katsuki Bakugou people magazine
Katsuki Bakugou
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To say you were a super fan was an understatement: you were completely obsessed
You have had a crush on this actor for a long time. There was no one else you talked about more than him.
You made tiktoks about him, posted him, and you even run a fan page on him.
He was your every thought.
———————————————————————
“Ugh guys he’s so fineeeee.” You turn your phone to your friends to show them the edit of Katsuki Bakugou.
They groan as they grow tired of you obsession. “Y/N, get a grip. This man is years older than you.”
Your friends like to try and get you back to reality, but in all honesty, it never works. However, they’re right. Katsuki Bakugou is 25 while you’re only 17.
You open your mouth, offended, as you begin to speak. “Ok and? You’re just a hater. I will be with him one day. Mark my words.”
———————————————————————
It was hours before your 18th birthday. Your friends decided to throw you a party that started around 8pm, planning on getting you drunk.
Were you excited to turn 18? Duh. But you were even excited to post about it.
Your friends treated your party almost as if it was new years. They had a countdown on your tv and endless amounts of food.
As the time ticked down, there were now only 3 minutes until 12am. You began to stand near the living room tv with the crowd of guests around you.
As the time went down everyone began to count.
“3”
“2”
“1”
Everyone began cheering as you received happy birthdays and hugs from all of your friends.
Even though you should’ve been celebrating, you took it in yourself to post something you’ve been dying to.
You were also slightly drunk so you didn’t care who saw it.
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After everyone left, you cleaned up the best you could and fell asleep. You were probably the drunkest you’ve ever been so waking up tomorrow, would be rough.
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You checked your phone as you woke up, and you think you’ve never screamed louder.
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Pt. 2 coming
A/N: I’m afraid this is vaguely based on my obsession for Johnnie Guilbert😓
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issdisgrace · 6 months ago
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Hi hello, would you mind writing sa male resder x Oscar piastri fluff? Like just something really tame, like cuddling in bed, or comforting him after a bad race, or taking care of him when sick, or maybe some angst? He gets jealous cause some guy is flirting with reader, but fluff would be really nice, hope this isn't too long 😭😭 thx
MY SICK BABY
WARNINGS: None
A/N: Sorry this took so long, have been neglecting my writing and basically all other aspects in my life. But I hope you like this none the less.
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Oscar didn't get sick often. In fact, the last time he was sick was almost a year. But when he did get sick he wasn't just sick, he was sick.
So when Oscar started feeling ill Friday night, dread sunk its way into his stomach. He knew that this weekend would be hell for him and god was he right.
He woke up Saturday morning with a pounding headache and a stuffy nose. He took some meds to help with it before he went out to the track, which helped some. However, he still felt quite miserable and others could see it, but despite this he had managed to qualify pretty good. Anyway, it was later that night everything just got worse, and the coughing started. He felt like he was suffocating, his chest hurt, he couldn't sleep, so he ended up calling you.
You were really concerned when you got a call from Oscar at 1 in the morning. But as soon as he started talking it was clear why he was calling you. He was sick. You felt bad as you listened to him explain everything. You suggested a couple of things that would hopefully help, which he appreciated, and you ended up staying on the phone till he fell asleep.
Then Sunday came, and despite your suggestions and some meds he still felt and now looked like hell. But he pushed himself, ignoring everything his body and others were telling him. He was going to race today even if it killed him. When he got out on the track, he felt surprisingly good and raced his ass off getting p3. Then he came in and his adrenaline came down and he felt worse than he did before. He had just made it through podium before he yacked up the contents of his stomach. He was grateful that the team didn't force him to do media after and just sent back to his hotel.
He managed to get some rest, which did him some good but before he knew it he 8pm and he needed to head to the airport for his flight home. Oscar was happy to be going home, and that flight was only 2 hours, but god those 2 hours were the absolute worse in his life. The turbulence was god awful, everyone and everything was just to loud, he had a hard time keeping whatever was left in his stomach down, and his nose just kept running.
By the time the plane landed around 11pm, he was ready to just cuddle up in bed with you and sleep for the next 24 hours. Picking Oscar up from the airport, you asked questions about how he was feeling wanting to gauge what you needed to do to help him feel better. Oscar told you and you made a mental note of everything as you headed home.
Once you guys were home, you got Oscar into pajamas and then got him some cold medicine and some soup that you had made earlier. He happily had to the soup as it was his favorite chicken noodle. But he reluctantly took the cold medicine because it tasted god awful. But he took it like the good boy he is.
You then got him all tucked into bed with the tv playing some old detective show that Oscar liked to watch. Kissed him goodnight and told him if he needed you, you would be asleep in the guest bedroom. Oscar wished you stayed with him, but he knew you didn't want to get sick as well.
Anyway, it was around 6 am when Oscar woke up. He felt hot and ill and quickly got out of bed to throw up the contents of his stomach into the toilet. Having woken up early and hearing the shuffling, then the throwing up, you quickly rushed to Oscar. Siting on the floor beside him, rubbing his back trying to soothe him.
You sit with him rubbing his back until he done throwing up. After he’s done you carefully get him back into bed. Then go and get the thermometer to take his temperature. You take his temperature and it reads 101 degrees Fahrenheit. It’s not good but it’s not as bad as it could be.
You get him some more cold medicine and water. You make sure he drinks all the water and then get a cool damp wash cloth on his forehead. You turn then turn the tv which shut off probably sometime in night. You put on some cartoons. They’re easy and you don’t got to think or follow much. Perfect for someone that is sick.
You then get everything set up for Oscar so he can take care of himself while your gone at work for the day. You’re a little reluctant to leave Oscar but you knew you had to work. You told Oscar to keep you updated in how he was doing.
When you got home from work, you immediately went and checked Oscar and found him asleep, cartoons still playing on the tv. You smile to yourself as you leave and go make dinner. When you’re almost done with dinner you hear the soft footsteps of Oscar coming down the hallway, you look up and greet him. He definitely looks better than he did this morning. You ask him how he’s feeling and he was better like you expected.
This routine of getting him set up in the morning and going to work and coming home and checking on him and then making dinner goes on for a 9 days, until Oscar feels completely better.
Oscar is really appreciative of you taking care of him while he was sick and took you out to dinner at a nice place as a thank you. Despite your insistence that he didn’t need to, that you were his partner and that taking care of him when he was sick came with that. While you were out for dinner you started sneezing a lot.
And by the next morning you were sick and it was Oscar’s turn to take care of you while you were sick.
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verstappensrealwife · 1 year ago
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Last Request - Fernando Alonso x Reader
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[fernando alonso masterlist / f1 masterlist]
ʚɞ in which... ʚɞ angst  ⋆⭒˚.⋆ 700 words ʚɞ warnings: crying, drinking, breakups.
Part 1/2 part 2 here.
-୨♡୧-
Yours and Fernando’s relationship had been on the rocks now for a while. Always arguing about something or other- whether it was him being away too much or you not going with him to his races.
And while yes, you loved him with all your heart, you knew staying with him any longer would make you hate him. That was the last thing you wanted.
When he stepped into your shared home, he could sense you were off. You were sat in the dark of your bedroom, despite the beaming sun outside trying to force its way through the fabric of the curtains. “Are you okay my love?” He asked tentatively, gentle with his words.
Shaking you head you spoke, “We should split up.” You spat out quickly- not so gentle. He looked at you confused, staring at you for any signs of a smirk or stiffle of laughter, but nothing. “Don’t look at me like that ‘Nando… You knew it would come sooner or later.”
He stayed silent, pinching his arm to see if this was all really happening… And he felt it, this was truly happening. “Is- Are you seeing someone else?” He managed to find some words. You shook your head no. “Then why…? Don’t you remember how we used to be?”
“Used to be…” You repeated. “Not anymore,” “I- Baby I can change, We can get a councellor- we- we could…”
You shook your head, tears in your eyes. He was sat beside you now, his eyes begging and pleading. And as the tears began to leave your eyes, falling down you face, he cried too. You brought your hands up to his face, pushing the tears away for him. “You’ll be okay, my love,” You whispered. His head dropped down to look at his lap. Your hand snuck over and held his hands that rested on his legs, your thumb rubbing gentle-loving circles on the palm of his hand. He knew it was no use trying to get you to change your mind- you were his for almost 3 years- he knew how stubborn you were once your mind had been made up. “I have one last request…” he said quietly, looking up at you, your beautiful face staring back at him, the last time he’d see it in person. You nodded and hummed for him to ask his request. “Just let me hold you, lay down beside me… one last time.”
You shuffled back on the bed, laying down and waiting for him to lay besides you. He immediately lay practically ontop of you. His head between your shoulder and neck, his arm wrapped around your waist. You massaged his hair as he lay with you, tears staining your tshirt as he held you one last time. It was the last time he could hold you in bed. The last time he could wake you up with kisses and breakfast in bed. The last time he would be able to call you his own.
After he had fell asleep, and his breathing slowed completely, you left.
When he woke up, it was around 8pm, and he was alone. He called you, thinking it was all just a dream he could tell you about and you'd laugh. But you didn’t pick up, not one of his many calls.
He got up, and went straight to the kitchen, grabbing the first bottle of alcohol he set his eyes on and drank. He sat on the floor of his kitchen and got blind drunk. The taste at first was strong, but after at least a quarter of the bottle, he drank like a fish. After 3 bottles of… god knows what… he managed to stumble to the couch, falling face-first into the cushions and going straight to sleep.
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fvllingflower · 1 year ago
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「Je T'aime」
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pairing: idol!joshua afab!reader
genre: romance, smut
warning: petnames, proposal, kissing (a lot), nipple play, oral(f!receiving), hickeys, unprotected sex (stay safe), aftercare
song recommendation: valentine by måneskin
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
"Love?" Joshua sits next to you on the couch.
"Mhm?" You look up at him with a smile.
"I have a surprise for you" He smiled.
"I'll need you to pack your suitcase, it'll need to last a week" Your eyes widened.
"Baby are you taking me on a trip?" You asked.
"I am but I'm not telling you where just yet" He kisses your cheek.
"Now go pack" You got up from the couch and walked into the bedroom and started packing. He came into the bedroom and started packing as well.
"The flight is at 8pm, okay?" He smiled.
"Okay..." You nodded excitedly.
It was now 7:15 and you two left for the airport. You two walked to your gate number and sat down and waited.
"So when will you tell me where we are going?" You smiled at Joshua.
"Mhm I don't know yet" He held your hand and smiled.
"But you do look really cute right now" You smiled at his compliment.
"I love you" You whispered to him.
"I love you more" He whispered back.
You two got on the plane and had seats right next to each other. You liked the idea of being next to him the entire flight. He let you rest your head on his shoulder and let you fall asleep all while holding your hand. You woke up some hours later.
"Can I know where we are flying to?" You whispered.
"Promise not to freak out" He smiled.
"I promise"
"We're going to Paris" He watched your eyes get wider and watched you smiled.
"Are you serious?" You asked, holding both his hands. He nodded his head.
"I love you so much" You kissed his lips passionately. He smiled into the kiss.
"I love you so much more, my love" He hugged you.
You two got to the hotel and were both exhausted from a long flight. You two laid on the bed and you scooted close to Joshua. He pulled you over to him and cuddled you. You buried your sleepy face into his chest and slowly fell asleep.
You woke up the next morning to Joshua crawling out of bed. You kept your eyes closed letting him think you're still asleep. He left the room and when he came back he kissed you all over your face to wake you up.
"Mmm Shua" You groaned.
"Let's go get breakfast, love" He whispered.
"Let me rest a little longer" You rolled over away from him.
"Love~" He spoke in a sing-song type tone.
"Let's enjoy a French breakfast" You finally woke up completely. You rolled back over and looked at him. You both smiled at each other.
"I forgot we're in France" You mumbled.
"How are you this cute in the morning?" He kissed your lips softly.
You got out of bed and got dressed for the day. You two left the hotel for an adventure. You were holding hands as you both walked to a breakfast restaurant. After breakfast Joshua suggested you two went shopping. You guys went to visit shops and you came across a dress you really love, it was a lacy, and raspberry pink color, and when you tried it on, it fit you perfectly. Joshua stared at you in the dress, as you two were in the dressing room.
"You look so..." It was like he was captivated.
"So gorgeous." He kept looking you up and down.
"Makes me want to kisses you" He stood up and kissed you softly. He wrapped his arms around your waist.
"I think you should get this dress love" He looked at the dress again.
"You like it?" You smiled at his cuteness.
"I love it but not much as I love you" He smiled.
You two got out of the dressing room and you had the dress on the hanger and held on to it. You left the store and Joshua bought you the dress. After shopping you two went back to the hotel.
The next came and it's Valentines day. You were getting ready to go out for dinner. You were changing into the dress you bought yesterday. You did you hair and put on some heels you bought as well. You walked to Joshua and he smiled.
"My beautiful valentine" He smiled and held your hands.
"My sweet valentine" You smiled back.
"Are you ready to go out?" He asked.
"Yeah" You kissed him softly.
You two left the hotel and went to a nice restaurant. The entire night, Joshua kept flirting with you, making you blush. After dinner, you two went on a walk, and you held hands the entire time. Where you both were standing, the eiffel tower was in front of you both. Joshua let go of your hand, making you confused. He got on one knee and pulled out a ring box.
"Joshua" You smiled softly.
"I have loved you for 6 years and I plan to love you for many more years. You are the light to my dark days. You are so beautiful, intelligent, and funny. I'm so lucky to call you mine and I want to call you mine for forever. Will you marry me?" You were trying hold back your tears.
"Yes, yes, yes" You let him put the beautiful diamond ring on your ring finger. He stood up and kissed you softly.
"I love you so much" You whispered against his lips.
"I love you so much more" He hugged your body.
You two went back to the hotel and took your shoes off. Joshua grabbed you by the chin and kissed you passionately. You could feel the hunger in his kiss. He picked you up and laid you on the bed and hovered above you. He started kissing down your neck, then down your cleavage. He took the dress off of you, leaving you in your bra and underwear. He started sucking on your collarbone.
"Mm Shua" You moaned quietly.
"So gorgeous" He mumbled against your neck before kissing it again. He took your bra and panties off, leaving you completely naked. He started kissing your chest like crazy.
"I'm gonna love this beautiful body until I die" He whispers.
He starts kissing down your chest to your stomach and to your thighs. He stops for a minute and takes he button up off and throws it on the floor. He starts kissing and nipping at your inner thighs, enjoying the little whimpers he receives from you. He had one hand holding your thighs open and the other one cupping your boob. You feel his hot breath on your vagina. You then felt his wet muscle against your folds. He started licking and sucking on your clit and folds. It felt like he was making out with your bottom lips. He seems to be an expert on how to make you feel extra good. Your hand went into his hair and pulled tightly. His hand on your boob started playing with your nipple, pitching it and rubbing it, all making you a moaning mess. Before you knew it you couldn't control yourself and he was licking up your orgasm. He looked up at you and smiled at your fucked up state. He gets eye level with you and kisses you passionately.
"So gorgeous and all mine" He whispers against your lips. He gets up to take his pants and underwear off. You were both naked now. He gets eye level with you again.
"You want more?" He asks softly.
"Please" You groaned. You spread your legs open for him, your thighs pressed to your sides. He smirked and lined himself up and sank into your hole. He slowly started thrusting. He held onto your thighs as he thrusted.
"Mm- faster" You moaned. He picked up the pace. Fucking you fast and rough. He was going balls deep inside you, making sure to feel all the walls around him. Your boobs were bouncing as he fucked you in a fast pace.
"Joshua!" You moaned loudly. That made him go even faster. To him, you were some kind of ecstasy that he couldn't get enough of. He enjoyed hearing your moans for him and only him. He felt honored to be the one to make you feel so good, making orgasm, making you moan every time. He loved you so fucking much, he can't get enough of you nor your body. You two orgasmed together, mixing your white release together. He slowly pulled out and laid next to you. You both tried catching your breaths.
Time passed and you two were finally calmed down. Joshua got up and helped clean you up. He handed you a shirt of his amd underwear to change into and he put some underwear on and sweats. He helped you take your makeup off and he couldn't help but smile when he saw your natural beauty. You two cuddled up and kept looking at your ring.
"I can't believe you're now my fiancé" You smiled.
"Me neither... you're soon officially gonna be mine" He smiled and kissed your cheek.
"And you'll be officially mine" You kissed his lips. You were slowly falling asleep.
"You know this was hard because I don't like keeping secrets from you..." He waited for reply but got nothing.
"Love?" He looked down and saw you asleep, face pressed against his bare chest.
"Mm sleep well, my sleeping beauty. I love you" He whispered and kissed your temple.
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katzenprinz · 3 months ago
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Who is most likely to sleep in/over sleep?(okay this turned into more than that, so sorry and bear with me) ngl I don't think it would be Jason unless prompted(*cough* cuddling with Salim *cough*) but Salim definitely seems like a late morning person. However, I can imagine Mosson or Palmer getting real comfortable and missing their alarms. I feel like Rana and Rachel are very punctual early risers, and I think Elliott and Nick are also more natural early risers as well. Eric and Jason seem like they'd get up early as well simply though years of training. Also Jones. And Kim. She takes her job very seriously.
Salim. Salim Salim Salim. He enjoys his sleep. If Jason didn’t make him get up he would happily stay asleep until he naturally woke up. However, after being a soldier for so many years, he is used to hopping awake at a moment’s notice. On the other hand, this also means he can fall asleep pretty much anywhere. (Like when he fell asleep at the mess table recently in the fic.)
As we see in fic, Jason isn’t a morning person himself. However, he’s learned to function just enough he didn’t get disciplined for oversleeping. He doesn’t actually wake up for a good half hour after. If they were not on military time, he’d happily spend mornings sleeping in with Salim.
Both of then are hardcore cuddlers. Their coffee in the morning is also very much needed. On days they don’t have morning duties or have the day off, like on Christmas, Jason starts to automatically wake up at 5am but Salim bearhugs him, murmurs, “we are off” and Jason goes “oh” before instantly conking out again.
Rachel and Eric both have it ingrained in them too deeply to wake up early that they can’t sleep in past 7 or 8 am, but are usually awake at 6. They use the time to work out, have breakfast, and then jump right into work. Or if they have leisure time, they read or chat together. Eric suffers from insomnia pretty frequently and Rachel has to force him to put down his work and come to bed. “Even if you don’t sleep, you have to rest, so get your ass over here.”
Nick is similar, but can manage to sleep until 10am if he isn’t bothered and had a hard day beforehand. He has a tendency to wake up in the middle of the night for an hour or so, usually getting up to stretch or have a snack. Likes to cuddle until he falls asleep and would definitely fall asleep with Rachel (and eventually Eric) snuggled in his arms.
Elliott is a puntual person and usually wakes up early, but it’s because he sets three alarms. He has a cup of tea every morning to perk himself up.
Palmer sleeps like the dead. He’s given the other goslings permission to tip him off of his cot if they aren’t able to shake him awake. If allowed, he’d probably sleep in until 10am at least, but sometimes he’s been known to sleep the whole morning away.
Mosson is, on the flip side, a pretty light sleeper. Odd sounds wake him up in seconds. The sort who could not ever sleep with a light or a tv on. He has fairly regular nightmares, but when he wakes up from them he pretends they never happened.
Jones is military through and through. That’s what happens when you come from a military family. He has always woken up around 5-6:30am, ready to jump into the day.
Rana is in her late 50s. She is up before the sun, normally, but she is also used to changing her sleep schedule to fit whatever the conditions are at a dig site. She tends to go to bed early-ish, between 7-8pm.
Sun-Hi is a doctor. She barely sleeps. She is used to having to cut her sleep short due to someone getting injured. She grabs sleep in short bursts.
(It is 11pm right now and I kept almost falling asleep while writing this. 😅 )
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frogofalltime · 1 year ago
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06.02.2024
as i am no longer taking adhd meds this is not a medication diary anymore but it has been helpful for my mental health to write about my day like this so i will continue it with a new tag :)
i slept very badly; i didn't fall asleep until very late and i kept waking up in the night having weird dreams.
i had to get up at 7:30 which was really hard but i did it. i ate breakfast and got ready and i was two minutes late for my 9am class but it's okay, the most important thing is that i went. i only wrote two lines of notes on the lecture though.
then immediately after that lecture i had a 3-hour long lab class. i did Not have a good time: i was so tired and the lab is so overstimulating even in the best of times, so i was really struggling. i also was very hungry, i think my body is catching up on the food it missed out on last week, so i went out of the lab for a few minutes to eat a snack and tried to mentally recover before i went back to continue working.
as soon as lab was over i had yet another lecture. thankfully this is the class that i have with @etherealspacejelly (seeing robin always cheers me up even if it's the worst day ever). it was just revision of some stuff we learned last year so it wasn't too hard but i was so tired that i just couldn't wait to get out of that room.
finally after 5 hours of back to back classes i finally could take a break. i went to the house where all my friends live to eat my lunch which i had left in the fridge there yesterday, and then i accidentally fell asleep on the sofa for an hour.
when i woke up we had to go to another class and by now i was Not feeling well at all. i had a headache, i was hungry again, i felt overwhelmed, and i just wanted to sleep. i spent most of the class with my head on the desk trying not to have a meltdown.
when that was finally over my friend tried to talk to me but i was unable to speak. i've struggled with this my whole life because i am autistic and i have situational mutism (?) but recently this has been happening every day. i left without saying goodbye and went home and stared at the wall for an hour because i felt like i was going to have a meltdown or cry or throw things around while screaming.
eventually i forced myself to get up and make myself some food and that helped a lot. i ate while reading percy jackson. by the time i had finished eating, i felt much better, though i still couldn't speak to my flatmate when she came in to the kitchen.
i washed my dishes and took a shower (which was very overstimulating, idk why showering has become even harder for me recently, and it was already difficult enough). i considered going to bed but it was only 8pm and i didn't want to wake up in the middle of the night so i decided to do some art instead.
drawing and creative things always improve my mood, but i often don't have the energy to do it, so i'm glad i was able to do that tonight. after that i was feeling hungry again. i was unwilling to eat Again because i already had eaten 3 meals and one snack and eating more than one "treat" food per day is against the Rules. but i know my body wouldn't ask for food if it didn't need it so i made myself some toast with nutella and seeds and i also had some grapes. it was very nice, my favourite kind of food, and i am proud of myself for letting myself eat it.
then i washed my plate and realised i had forgotten to take my antidepressant meds this evening, so i took them when i went to the bathroom to brush my teeth.
now i am in bed and i feel a lot better than i did all day. sometimes i guess i need some rest, a lot of food, a creative outlet, and some Autism Time, otherwise i turn into an insane little creeture.
goodnight everyone, i hope tomorrow is better <3
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dirtybitfic · 7 months ago
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White mustang
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Storyline- In which Chris takes a solo, month long trip to Baraboo Wisconsin where he takes notice of a girl who stands out from everyone else in the small town . He cant help but seek her out and unlock the mystery of her .( PS THIS STORY ENDED UP BEING LONG AS ABSOLUTE FUCK my b)
(Based off of White mustang by Lana del rey)
Chris pov-
I've been so caught up in content for the past 3 months that I decided to take a trip completely by myself to take a mental health break. I did a little research on smaller towns on the east coast that I felt would be safe to go. I landed on Baraboo Wisconsin , I don't really know why it just looked kind of cool so I though why not.
I just got off my flight sending Matt and nick a text letting them know I got here safe and i'm heading to get my rental car now. Its not common that any of us would take a trip alone but I just really felt it was the right decision to not have them with me , being a triplet means being very co-dependent on each other but we've slowly started trying to be more independent and not do everything together and its been nice actually.
I pick up my car and drive to the airbnb I rented( were gonna pretend he has his license ) , its pretty close to devils lake national park so its slightly on outside of town in more of a rural area. Im getting a bit nervous as I get further into the backroads area feeling a bit scared I'm actually gonna be here alone for as long as i'm staying.
I finally reach the house and pull into the driveway hopping out and grabbing my bags from the trunk then heading to put the code in and finally sit down and rest.
The house is pretty cool Matt would have really liked it if he were here. I go upstairs to the master bedroom and throw my bag down kicking of my shoes , shirt and pants and hopping on the bed deciding to take a nap since i'm tired from the flight and have nothing else to do since I got in kinda late .
*times skip 4 hours*
I just woke up grabbing my phone to check the time, it's 8pm here which means its 5pm in cali.
I get and incoming face time from matt and answer it immediately happy to see his face.
" hey man how is it so far?" he asks as he takes a sip of water.
" Good I fell asleep right when I got here so I haven't got out at all but I probably will in a bit to get food" I answer.
" Well i'm glad you're okay ! I'm proud of you for doing this Chris I know its a bit weird not having us there but I think it'll be good for all of us to takes some time for ourselves" he says and I nod in agreement.
"I am happy I decided to go through with it . I just hope it'll be as nice and chill as I want it to be" I say as I set my phone down and fix my hair from getting in my eyes.
" Well I just wanted to check in and make sure you are good but text if you need me " he says as he throws a hoodie on and grabs his keys.
" I will love you bro" I say as I smile at him.
" Love you too " he says then hangs up.
I lay back on the bed contemplating of I want to go out and get food or just door dash something . Deciding I don't have the energy to get up and get dressed I chose to door dash .
I order a burger from some place in town and chill watching til tons until it gets here.
2o minuets later i'm eating my pizza on the back porch deciding some fresh air would do be good after being on a plane half the day and then taking a nap. The air bib has a hot tub which is the biggest reason I chose to stay here , after I ate I decided to turn it on and let it heat up to about 90 degrees since its only like 70 degrees tonight with a little breeze.
I got inside throwing on some trunks and grabbing a Pepsi from the fridge , the owner had stalked the fridge with drinks since they said their daughter watches our videos and wanted to make sure I had plenty of Pepsi for the month which is hilarious but also very sweet.
I climb into the hot water turning the lights to blue and laying back looking up at the clear night sky. The stars are pretty visible here which is a nice change from L.A.
I decide to turn on some music and chill out here for a while. After about 30 minutes i'm rushing inside and locking the door because I heard rustling in the woods and got scared. I may be a grown man but hearing noises in the dark woods when you're all alone would scare anyone.
I decide I might as well shower, watch a show and go to sleep. Maybe even find somethings to do Tommorrow .
Most of the shit in town didn't look that interesting to me so I decided on pewit's nest , I think taking a little hike and chillin in a waterfall could be a good reset ... I just hope there isn't a shit tone of people around.
I just woke up , its about 12 so I get up and throw on a fit and grab my phone AirPods and keys and head out the door putting in directions to pewit's nest. It's like a 30 minute drive which isn't too bad. I set my playlist on shuffle and start the drive. I rented a convertible , even though it was expensive its worth it . I like backgrounds they are chill and always have better views .
Im going down a long windy road when I see another car further ahead in the opposite lane , I can tell from here its a nice car maybe even vintage.
The closer I get the more a feeling creeps over my body making me feel confused but intrigued . Im close enough now to see long blue hair blowing freely in the wind and a slim arm hanging off the door of a white 1965 mustang moving like it's going over a waves in an ocean . I smile as the air seems to get lighter and my stomach girls when I catch a glimpse of her face that has a smile plastered on it that is so bright and sweet it could send a grown man into cardiac arrest .
We make eye contact as we pass each other and the feeling that washes over is something i've never felt before . I can hear the song she has playing that blasts through her speakers , a classical song one I recognize but I cant remember why .
I look away as I redirect the car to drive straight again and shake my head . I don't know what that feeling was but it felt ... good .
After a little while I reach the parking area and see no other cars making me smile, hopefully ill be alone in the piece and quiet.
I put the top back up and turn off the car and hop out and go to the directory to see with path I need to take to end up at the waterfall . The path is about a two mile hike , its says it's an easy path so that's good. I put my AirPods in and decide on a playlist Matt had made a while ago of just chill slow music .
I start walking looking around taking a breathe of the fresh air feeling calmness fall over me . I love the east coast so much more than the west coast , it just feels more calm and nice compared to the busy city life we live in L.A. As I walk I see movement out of the corner of my eye making me look over seeing its a family of deer . I pull out my phone and take a picture sending it to Matt and Nick . I don't see many deer in the west coast but every time I do I have to take a picture , they are my favorite animal.
After an easy 20 more minutes I reach the fall , taking out my AirPods I look around just checking out the area making sure i'm alone , I am . I take my shoes off then my shirt and set my phone , keys and AirPods onto of them and walk to the edge and dip my foot in . I forget how cold waterfall water really is but I decide to just say fuck it and get in . The warm sun helps make it a little more bearable .
As I float around I hear my phone ringing so I swim back over to check who it is . It's nick so I dry my hands on my shirt and answer it.
"Hey... wow where are you it's so pretty?" he says as he notices the scene in the background. " It's called Pewits nest " I answer as I flip the camera and show him the whole fall and the surrounding area. " Wow well i'm glad you're getting out and having fun " he says making me flip the camera and smile. " Yeah me too its pretty nice out here really peaceful " I say as I look around smiling. " So you're doing okay ?" he asks I nod " Yeah i'm good I definitely needed this I miss you guys though" I say looking at him he smiles softly " I miss you too but your metal health is more important than being here dealing with with meetings and shit " nick says and I nod " Yeah I know ill get used to being without you guys soon it's just bit weird right now" I say sighing . " I know but hey you know we"re just a call away and maybe you'll get some Inspo for new fresh love designs " he say smiling rubbing his hands together making me chuckle . " Yeah I guess you're right ... anything interesting going on with you?" I ask feeling comforted with the fact I"m talking to him even if he"s not really here with me it feels like he is." Uhhh not really I think me and Matt are gonna go for dinner with Jake and Tara then probably chill the rest of the night" he says making me smile. " We'll have fun and tell them I said hey, ima let you go though I know you probably got some shit to do" I say smiling at him . " Okay well be safe and maybe go around town tonight see what's around I love you" " Yeah love you too " I say and hang up.
I look at the time seeing its around 3:30 meaning i've been here for about 2 and a half hours so I decide to get out and use my shirt to dry off and put my shoes back on and start walking back down the path to my car.
I get back to my car and unlock it throwing a towel I had brought but forgot to grab out and put it on the seat so I didn't get it wet . I put the top back down and head back to the airbnb .
I reach the point in the windy road where I passed that girl earlier and smile to myself at the memory . It .. I mean she has been on my mind ever since we passed I know nothing about her yet she's all I can think about my whole drive home.
I get back and head into the house grabbing a drink from the fridge and heading upstairs to take a shower. The bathroom is pretty big if you ask me and I love the shower honestly I could probably stand in it and think for hours. I throw shoes and pants off and walk in turning on the rain shower letting the water fully cascade down my body. I take my time just standing under the hot water relaxing . I start thinking about the girl from earlier . I literally cant get her off my mind something about the feeling I got when we made eye contact scares me but also intrigues me , its like my body knew something I didn't but now I want to find out what it could be that has be so drawn to her.
I hop out of the shower and decide I should go into town to grab some groceries and some dinner . One thing I hate is eating alone but I have no other choice.
I start up the car and head towards town . I find a groceries store called woodmans deciding it look like the biggest one and thread have the biggest selection of shit .
I park and head in keeping my head down feeling a bit nervous being out alone. I shop as quick as possible then find a place to get dinner. I find an Italian restaurant and decide to order take out online for pickup . I head over and park close by deciding to walk around a bit till I get a text that the foods ready. I walk down the streets passing by people smiling and they smile back which is one thing I love about west coast people they are way more pleasant than west coast people .
I spot a small looking path through some trees that has a couple benches along it and decide to sit under the tree and watch the sunset while I wait. I watch as the sky changes colors , its honestly one of the best sunsets i've seen in a while. I hear soft laughter making me turn my head in the direction it came from. I see a guy walking with a girl and they are looking at something on their phone laughing and making fun of what I can hear a girl, they are both dressed in boring ass basic outfits making me roll my eyes at how boring they look.
They stop a few feet away to watch another video i'm guessing and I can fully hear what they are saying now
" oh my god Vienna is so fucking weird" the girl says before laughing , she has such a bitchy little laugh .
" She tries so hard to be different and yet she wanders why no guys wanna touch her" the guys says smirking making the girl laugh .
" Ahh what a cute little music video " she sighs with a sniper putting her phone in her pocket . I cant help but roll my eyes shaking my head at their behavior and words .
" OH MY GOD C-CHRIS STURNIOLO" I hear a shriek making me jump in surprise . " oh my god is it really you ?" the girl ask running up to me . I contemplate on saying no and going on with my night but... she knows damn well its me so I nod . " Yeah hi nice to meet you" I say standing up . She squeals in excitement . " Can I get a picture " she asks and I slowly shake my head . " No i'm sorry i'm trying to stay out of sight while i'm here I don't really want everyone knowing where I am..." I say acting as sorry as best I can. " Oh I get it i'm sorry to bother you have a good night" the girl says waving and running off I wave back then my phone rings telling me my foods ready for pickup so I Jog back to the area I parked and run into the restaurant grabbing my food and heading to my car .
I look across the street as I unlock my door spotting blue hair and ,my heart immediately jumps as I watch her walk down the street , her hair softly blowing with the breeze with headphones on her face naturally resting slightly angry which makes her even more attractive. I cant help but stare , she has an energy that radiates off of her but I just don't know what it is quite yet.
I see the dick head couple from earlier quickly approaching her the girl whispering to the guy as she laugh once the get to mystery girl the girl grabs her arm making me furrow my eyebrows and watch intensely at the scene unfolding in front of me.
The girl holds a tight grip as she gets in blue hairs face smiling but the words that come out of her mouth look unpleasant . Blue hair slides her headphones down and keeps them around her neck as she listens to the girl talking to her but her face looks unbothered .
The guy starts laughing as he smirks watching his girlfriend disrespect blue hair, I feel an urge to go over and break it up but the lat thing I need is to get roped into random peoples drama. She lets go of blue hairs arm laughing but I didn't expect what happened next.
Blue hair shoves her hand into the others chest pushing her harshly into the brick wall next to them . I walk to my trunk to try and hear what's happening more clearly.
Its a bit quiet but I can hear clear enough
" Grow the fuck up Clara I don't care if you like me or not i'm not going to tell you again to leave me the fuck alone" blue hair spits the words into her face. The other girl looks slightly... scared which I find funny cause two seconds ago she looked like she was nothing but proud of herself for whatever she said. " Vienna I- just let me go " she whine prying blue hair well Vienna's hand off her chest and clinging to her boyfriend . " God Vienna if you weren't such a stuck up cunt maybe somebody would have wanted yours by now" the guy says . Vienna and even his girlfriends mouth drop open at his words . "James your dating Clara ...kinda weird how every single insult you can think of *she steps closer to him* ... always end up with sexual comments about me" she says smirking . His girlfriend gasps and raises a hand to slap Vienna. " You might want to lower that hand Clara she scolds glancing at the girl who slowly lowers her hand and James ... stop thinking about who has or hasn't wanted me because trust me... Lucas had no problem having some time with me" she says then slides her head phones back on flicking them both off and walking away.
I stand in shock for a couple seconds dumfounded by what I just witnessed , maybe I'm just so used to living in a city where everybody is just minding their own business . Smaller towns definitely seem to have more entertaining people . I smile as I turn back around and get in my car setting my food on the seat next to me and driving off back to the house.
I'm actually glad I decided to go to town and get food because now not only do I know blue hairs real name but I also have caught a good glimpse of her personality and it only adds fuel to the fire inside my brain. I've never seen someone so calm and collected when being patronized like she was and her comebacks to the insults were nothing but perfect. I wanted to burst out laughing when she clocked the fuck out of the guy for bringing up her sex life given I had heard him speak about it when they were talking shit when I was sitting on the bench waiting .
I admire the way she made the girl scared and nervous when she spoke back to her , most people would have just stood there and took the insults and not stick up for themselves but she sure as fuck did.
I pull into the driveway hopping out and rushing in to sit down and eat my food. The pasta is good as fuck not gonna lie , I'm absolutely banging it down when my phone rings, I pause the movie I was watching and answer it to see Nick and Matt pop up on my screen.
" Hey guys what's up?" I ask as I take a sip of my Pepsi.
" Nothing we just wanted to chest in and make sure you're doing good " Matt says and I smile and nod. " Yeah i'm good I went into town to get dinner ... and lets just say i've never been so entertained by drama, than I was 30 minutes ago" I say laughing after. " Yo what the fuck I wanna know what happened" nick says showing how intrigued he is by what I witnessed.
" Okay well when I was going to that waterfall I was at when you called yesterday I passed a girl who had blue hair and a really nice vintage mustang and something about her intrigued me .... tonight I saw the same girl low-key get bullied by some basic bitch and blue hair girl absolutely chewed her and her boyfriend up and spit them out in the span of 5 minutes" I say smiling replaying the moment in my head . " Damn small towns do have shit going on huh" nick says laughing making me and matt laugh too. " Yeah shit was very entertaining to say the least " I say back . " So this blue haired girl ... do you have a little crush Chris" Matt says teasing me making me shake my head and flick him off . " No she just looks like cool person bro " I say trying to convince him and myself i'm not that into her." Whatever you sayyy" he says making me shake my head. " Well ima go take a late night walk and clear my head I love you guys" I say. " yeah love you to, be safe" Matt says before hanging up the call.
I grab my headphones and throw on my shoes and head out of the door. Its nice weather but it feels like it might rain and honestly I wouldn't mind getting caught in the rain on my walk.
Im walking down the neighborhood path when I see a path leading into the woods that has a sign saying it leads to a sand beach on the lake , I decide to take it and maybe sit by the water for a bit .
I feel a bit creeped out as I walk through the almost pitch black path so I bring out my phone and turn on the flash so I can kinda see where i'm going. I take out my earphones so I can hear the area around me just incase something or someone is out here. The further I walk I feel like I can hear water ripple and kind of splash letting me know i'm getting closer to my destination.
I meet the end of the path where the sand starts and step out taking a deep breathe. Its quiet and calm out here and the moon is shining down on the water letting me see the area surrounding me. I sit down on a stump and look up taking in the dark cloudy sky above me . It's calming to be out here all alone being able to just sit and think about anything and everything .
I get lost in my thought until I snap out of it when I hear a loud splash off to the left . I try and focus in on the area but its too dark from where i'm sitting to really get a good look .Out of curiosity I get up and get closer to where I heard the sound come from breathing heavily since i'm a bit scared it could be like a fucking bear or something , then id really be fucked.
As I slowly get closer I hear a small laugh , it sounds like a girl but im not quite sure all I know is hearing a girl giggle in the dark late t night is creepy as fuck. I look at spot a figure gliding in the water I squint to try and make out if its a person or animal . When the figure stands in the water the moon light shines over them letting me see it is in fact a girl , not just any girl though. I see a tinge of blue sheen in the hair thats being hit by the moon light and my breathe hitches.
It's her. My stomach does that stupid fucking feeling again as I watch the way she's gliding through the water. She goes under and comes back up wiping her face and hair back . She looks so calm and peaceful , I feel like a creep just watching her but I cant look away or move . She kind of stops all of her movements taking a deep breath and looking around she spots me and jumps with a scream . I flinch immediately turning around starting to speed walk back to the path I got here on.
I hear water splashing and my heart starts to speed up , she's gonna catch up and yell at me is all I can think as I walk as quickly as possible . "WAIT HEY WAIT " I hear her scream and I stop shoulders slumping down waiting for her to come up and give me a piece of her mind.
I turn around to see her walking up to me ... smiling , maybe she's not mad after all . " Are you here alone?" she asks as she gets closer and I can see her gorgeous face . I just nod to scared to actually say anything. " Have I seen you before you look really familiar?" she asks me studying my face. " I- um maybe I don't kn-" she cuts me off. " Wait I know I passed you on the road ... you drive that black convertible right?" she asks smiling and stepping closer. " Y-yeah you drive the vintage mustang right?" I ask and she smiles and nods . " It's a really cool car" I say making her smile wider. " Thank you it was my dads dream car so when he... passed I got it in memory of him" she says as her smile falters a bit . " Oh i'm so sorry " I say as she looks back up at me shaking her head. " It's okay its not your fault" she says with a quiet laugh. "I know I just I feel bad" I say smiling sympathetically. " Please don't feel sorry for me the last thing I want is pity" she says shaking her head. " Sorry " I say trying to make it less awkward. " Its fine ... so are you new I have seen you until this week" she asks smiling at me and walking back onto the sandy part so I take that as she wants me to follow her. " Uhhm yeah I guess i'm taking a vacation here for about a month " I answer . " Why here?" she asks laughing.
" Well I wanted to get out of big city life for a while so I just kinda looked up smaller places to go and I ended up here" I answer with a shrug. " Well I guess that makes sense ... i've never been to a big city but i've always water to move out of here and live the city life" she rambles making me smile . She sits down and I sit next to her. " Honestly I like living in a city for the most part it just gets ... a lot sometimes you know" I say and look over at her. " Yeah i... I down really fit in here ... I mean I never really have " She says looking off into the water. " I don't understand why I mean you're nice , drive a cool ass car , and ... your pretty" I say and she looks at me smiling weekly. " Thank you thats really sweet but I don't think anyone here would agree with you" she says as she sighs . " well they are just boring ass people then I mean from what I can tell you seem really cool ... if I lived here I think you'd be the only person i'd wanna be friends with " I say and she smiles widely. " Thanks you seem pretty cool too" She says making me smile. " You know I didn't get your name" I say and she laughs . " It's Vienna" she says . " Thats a pretty name i'm Chris " I say smiling back at her . " Thank you so where are you from?" she asks me " Im from Boston but I live in LA with my brothers" I say and she nods . " How many brothers do you have ?" she asks . Ive noticed that I don't think she has a clue who I am and i'm actually really happy about it. " I have 3 , one older and i'm 1 of three triplets. " I answer she gasps " Ahh thats so fucking cool I always wished I had a twin growing up so id have a best friend with me all the time" she says smiling I cant help but chuckle " Yeah its pretty cool . So i'm guessing you don't have any siblings ?" I asks judging from her response . " I did but not anymore " she says looking upset again . " oh " I say having a good feeling it's the same outcome of her dad situation. " Yeah I had a sister but um she passed my freshman year of college " she says and I can almost see the tears staring in her eyes. " Im sorry Vienna I shouldn't have brought it up" I say feeling bad knowing she not only lost her dad but also her sister, I couldn't imagine going through that . " No No it's okay i'm sorry for trauma dumping on you I met you like 5 minutes ago" She says laughing and sniffling as a small tear falls down her face. " No its okay I don't mind ... I like hearing you talk" I say making her smile. She hums and leans her head on my shoulder looking at the scene infant of us. Ive never felt this comfortable with someone I barely know before but right now I feel good, happy and calm . I look down at her smiling at her small gesture . " Is- is this okay i'm sorry if -" " Its absolutely okay I don't mind" I say and she looks up at me smiling then looking back out .
" It's really peaceful out here" I say and she nods. " Yeah I love it out here ... not a lot of people come out here thats why I come down here to think " she says and I nod " I can see why " I say . " This might be an invasive question to ask but what do you do ... I mean if you're staying here for a month you must make good money" she says laughing . " Well I umm I make YouTube videos with my brothers " I say . " ahhh okay makes sense . Is it fun do you like it?" she asks me and I think for the best answer " I love it but sometimes it can be stressful ... it takes a big toll on my mental health sometimes though" I answer honestly. " Im guessing thats why you came here to take a break from it all" she adds on and I nod " Yeah I mean this is the first trip i've ever taken without my brothers but it was very much needed" I answer. " Well good for you for taking time that you need ... I bet the fans aren't too happy about it though" she jokes but I sigh making her mover her head and face me . " That was a big sigh " she says and I nod " Yeah its just ... sometimes the fans take shit too far and that's one of the biggest things that really east to me" I say looking at her . " Well I can only guess they are all crazy little girls ... I mean look at you no wonder they go a little crazy" she says giggling . " what's that supposed to mean?" I ask laughing " Chris come on ... you know you're attractive I mean id be obsessed to if I were them" she smiles and I shake my head smiling . " Thank you " I say laughing . She laugh too " You're welcome " she nods . Silence falls between us for a couple seconds before I speak . " I gotta ask you ... what's up with the blond girl and her boyfriend I kinda saw they gang up on you in town " I ask but regret it when her eyebrows furrow . " You saw that " she asks kind of confused . " Yeah I ... I should have said that earlier I just ..." " Im not mad just a bit embarrassed" she says and I nod . " They were kind of my bullies all throughout middle and high school ... they fucked off for a while when I went away for college but after my sister passed I became really depressed and failed all my classes and came back here to take care of our house so " " Now that your back they decided to keep being assholes " I say understanding the situation. "Yeah pretty much I honestly don't know why they act like they do but I just got tired off it that night and snapped ... I usually just kept my head down and let them say whatever but i'm tired of the shit . I just wish they would grow the fuck up were grown ass adults and I seem to be the only one who knows how to act like one" she groans making me laugh. " Immature assholes " I joke and she laughs . " Yeah honestly I thought when we all turned 20 they'd just move on but now i'm 22 and they still act like children its embarrassing honestly " she laughs making me smile. " I think they are jealous to be honest " I say and she smiles . " They have nothing to be jealous about I have no family or friends" " That is where your wrong you do have a friend" I say and she looks at me " And who might that be?" she asks smiling " Me obviously " I smile and she smiles back . " Ive never been so conformable with someone this quickly " she says in a sweet but serious tone " Me neither " I say smiling . She scoots closer and I put out my arm so she can scoot into my side . " Thank you chris " she says as she nuzzles into my side making me smile . " For what?" I ask not knowing what I did " For being a decent person . For talking to me and listening to me even though you barely know me " she says and I smile . " Of course , i'm glad we met you're ... an amazing girl ... I don't usually get close to girls mostly because of the fans and my own kind of shit but you .... it just feels right " " I completely agree it just feels easy being around you " she says back making me smile .
" What time is it " she asks me and I grab my phone to look . " Shit it's almost 5 am " I say laughing . " We've been talking for 4 hours " she asks shocked and looking at me " Yeah I guess so " I say smiling . " It felt like we've only been here for an hour at most " " Times flys when your having fun " I joke making her laugh . " I should probably head home " she sighs making me look at her .
I know I just met her but I really want to keep talking with her I really don't wan this to end I shoot the shot " You could always ... come back to mine I mean its a big house and i'm all alone I wouldn't mind the company " I say smiling " Really? " she asks smiling I nod " Okay Yeah lets do it" she says getting up .
We walk next to each other in comfortable silence I glance over at her and smile. She looks like she's deep in thought so I just stay silent.
Vienna pov-
I swear to god I have never seen someone so attractive in my life I mean Jesus fucking christ and could I have embarrassed myself even more. He caught me swimming around at night all alone like a freak I mean thats so embarrassing and then I go and fucking TRAUMA DUMP on him after like 15 minutes Jesus. I've never really been that talkative of a person , not because I don't want to be but because no ones ever really given me a chance. Ive lived here my entire life except half a year when I went to Colorado state , I loved It there and I did have a couple fiends but after my sister died and I moved I didn't hear from them . I feel like i'm just and unlovable person sometimes I mean everyone I get close to leaves me . Sadly I already know thats gonna be the case with Chris since he will only be here for a month , I am scared to get too close but he's just... so nice and he made me feel more seen in the span of 4 hours than I have my entire life . So here I am on my way back to his house and yeah I'm nervous but if I were to have said no id be missing out on having someone to talk to and laugh with and just a guy who makes me feel happy when I haven't in a while , even if it is just for this month I won't let this chance at a good relationship pass.
Chris's pov-
We reach the road and I look down at her and she looks up and smiles , god her smile is adorable . " come on it this way" I say leading her to the right back to my house. She follows and walks by my side and I don't know why but I put my arm around her shoulder and pull her into me . I feel so comfortable around her, again its a weird feeling , but i'm happy and content so why would I freak out about it . we get up the slight hill and walk up the driveway to the door . I put in the code and let her go in first.
" mm its so cozy in here" she says and I agree " I know right I like it here its very quiet too " " It is but that could be scary when you're alone" " Oh trust me it is" I say and she laughs. " Are you hungry thirsty anything?" I ask her as I make my way to the kitchen to grab something to drink . " Kind thirsty actually yeah" she says and I nod . "I got water, lemonade , Pepsi , Dr Pepper any of those sound good?" I ask and she thinks for a second . " Dr.pepper please , thank you" she says and I smile handing one to her " no problem" .
" Sooo what should we do ?" she asks smiling at me as she sits on the kitchen island. "Mmm I don't know we could watch a movie or uhh we could chill in the hotter for a bit " I say and she smiles " I wouldn't mind chillin in the hot tub" she says smiling . " Alright let me change into some shorts real quick then ill get it started up" I say as I jog up the stairs.
Vienna pov-
I step outside onto the porch walking to the railing looking out into the darkness , I find the dark calming while most people find it scary I find it to be the opposite. I've always been someone who likes the night more than the day . I love the way the moon has different fazes and how the stars shine but also because I feel most myself at night , my mom had a nickname for me as a baby "Me pequeña luna" my little moon , She used to tell me I liked sleeping all day and staying up at night which is why she called me her little moon . She passed away when I was about 11 years old it was hard but I got through it . When I was a teenager my older sister played the mother roll a lot telling me all about what I needed to know from how my body would change to sex to other things a mom would say to protect her child , I loved my sister like no one else but I think life took a toll on her and thats why she left me here alone . I don't hate her for it in some ways I understand why she did it but I wish I had been able to help or stop her from making the decision to end it all but I was too late by the time I realized she was struggling she was already gone . My dad passed of natural causes maybe a broken heart or age but at least he passed peacefully .
All these things are the reason why I live my life the way I do , I take adventures and I live how I want . I've never been one to follow trends or go with the flow of others around me , in this small town people like to say i'm the "weird girl " or " The freak" because I don't look and dress like everyone else or I don't speak or act the way they "expect" the young woman here too but fuck em i'm happy and thats all that matters.
My thoughts are interrupted when I hear the sliding door open and I turn to see Chris , fuck he really is perfect. I try not to drool as I look over his lean body and his cut v line .
"Hey I brought down a speaker so we can listen to music while we're out here" he says and I snap my eyes up to his face and smile . "Sounds good to me" I answer and he smiles. I watch as he walks to the hot tub turning it on and setting the heat and lights to how he wants them to be. He looks at me smiling and motioning me to come over . I walk over to him smiling . " Ladies first " he says as he gives me a hand getting into the tub making me laugh a bit.
He climbs in after me sitting pretty close making me smile to myself , I just met him and i'm already so into him , Maybe because I don't get much male attention or affection on a normal bases and i'm touch deprived as fuck but he's just so sweet .
" Here you can queue up whatever sings you want " he says handing me his phone and turning on the speaker " you sure I don't know if you'll like my music taste " " Im sure I will" he says and I shake my head "Okayyy" I say as I queue up a couple songs
~ Claire de lune- claude debussy, Jacob and the stone- Emile mosseri, Champagne coast- blood orange, In the air tonight- Phil collins, ALIEN FLAME- shometyle, Holier- crosses, sex on fire- kings of lion and when i'm small- phantogram.
The first song starts to play and I nervously wait for him to say something
he smiles " Im not a classical guy but its a nice song" he says and I smile and laugh " Yeah I didn't think you'd be into classical but this is one of my favorite songs so" he smiles and leans his head back looking up at the sky.
" The stars are bright tonight " he says and I look up to setting into my spot " They really are " I say smiling tracing the Lyra constellation . "You see the stars in a line and kind of coming together into a misshapen square?" I ask him as I point to the area i'm looking at . "Ummm oh yeah I see it " he says and I smile . " Thats the Lyra constellation " I say smiling " oh wow I didn't know that I mean to be fair the only one I really know is the Big Dipper" he says laughing I giggle " Yeah thats the one most people know ... my mom taught me about astrology when I was young and I got really into it when she got sick and wed talk about it when she was in the hospital" I explain to him as he nods along , he's a very attentive listener . " Mmm a way to stay close to her ?" he asks smiling " Yeah it kept us connected , she loved to talk about the stars and after she passed I just kept up with it because every time I look at the stars I feel like she's with me " I say smiling as I try and keep myself from tearing up. " Thats really sweet " she says as he looks at me with an adoring look that makes me smile .
"So you and your family are you close ?" I ask him wanting to stop babying on about myself . " Yeah were really close I love my family more than anything , i'm closest with my triplet brother for obvious reasons but my mom is the sweetest woman I love her to death and my dad is great he's really funny and my older brother is cool as fuck , he doesn't have the same dad as me , Matt and Nick but its never really felt like he isn't a full sibling he's been there all our lives you know what I mean" he speaks so sweetly of his family I almost want to cry . " I completely get it ,your family sounds lovely " " They are great I think my mom would absolutely love you and you would definitely get along with nick " he says making me smile that he's even thinking about how specific family members would like me . " So being a triplet is obviously special , are you all pretty alike or are you complete opposites?" I ask obviously intrigued since i've never seen or met twins let alone triplets. " Honestly were all different in our own ways , nick is gay which is one thing that makes him different from me and Matt but he's probably the most out going one of all of us he always been the one to just do his own thing , me and Matt though we're pretty similar we played all the same sports growing up and always had the same friends , like the same music except Matt has some music he likes that I down like as much he's also the most calm and quiet one he likes to just keep to himself most of the time , he's pretty much always been that way " he answers my question perfectly as I listen giving him my full attention . " Thats great though you know you all have things that make you individuals " I say smiling . "Yeah it's great for us all to have our own interests, I mean when we were kids we did everything together so now that were older its nice to be our own selves and do things separately " he explains and I nod . " What about you and your sister were you pretty similar?" he asks and I try to keep my smile " Yeah I guess I mean she was 5 years older than me so you know we had our differences just because of the age gap but I learned a lot from her , I got my music taste from all the countless drives we'd take together , she loved to go on late night walks and swims in the lake ... thats actually why I was there tonight her birthday was yesterday and I wanted to do something to remember her and why not do something we loved to do together . She loved saving memories too she loved photography and taking videos which is now something I love since she taught me when we were younger , I was always the louder more outgoing one and she was the calm and quiet type and I think thats why we got along so well " " What do you like to do you know like hobbys and stuff?" he asks me and I think about it for a second " Well I play guitar and keyboard and I sing sometimes , i'm more creative and artsy I guess I also love to tech and paint I just picked up trying to do tattoos , its pretty hard not gonna lie but its fun to see what I can design and create " I say and he smiles really big " Thats actually really cool I actually have a clothing brand of my own .... maybe you could tech some new ideas for me " he says and I smile " Really?" I ask smiling "Yeah i've been reading to create some more design for a new drop maybe you can help me with that while i'm here " I nod and smile widely " I'd love too , so what's the band called ?" I ask ." fresh love " he answers " Ohh I like that " I say and he smiles " Thank you Matt helped me name it but I like to take the credit most of the time" he says and I laugh .
" Im kind of getting hot out here wanna go back inside and dry off . I can give you some clothes to change into " he says and I nod " Yeah sounds good ... do you mind if take a quick shower I have lake water all in my hair ?" I ask and he smiles " Yeah of course " he says and I thank him as we head inside . " The bathroom is up the stairs and its the first door to the left ... i'll bring you some clothes once you're out . I would bring them in while you shower but I'd fully see you with the way the shower is built " she says laughing . " Okay no problem ,thank you " I say as I make my way up the stairs . I walk into the large bathroom and head to the shower , I spend a hot minute trying to figure out how to turn on the shower but fail horribly . So embarrassingly I call out to Chris for help "HEY CHRIS UMM HOW THE FUCK DO YOU TURN THE SHOWER ON" I ask . I hear foot steps approach and the door open " Sorry I forgot its kind of hard to turn on " he says smiling as he walks over and turns it on for me " ahh thats how you do it " I say laughing . " Just push it back in to turn it off and if you want it hotter or colder tap it left for hot and right for cold " he explain showing me " Great thank you " " No problem and I set a towel on the sink for you " " Thank you" " Yep no problem " he says as he walks out shutting the door behind him .
I take off my wet bikini and step under the water it was a little to cold for me so I turn it hotter but I tapped it a couple too many time making it so hot it stung and I yelped . "YOU OKAY? " I hear "hris yell from outside the door "YEAH JUST TURNED IT A BUT TOO HOT SORRY " "YOU'RE GOOD JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE YOU DIDN'T FALL OR SOMETHING " "NOPE ALL GOOD THANK YOU FOR CHECKING THOUGH " " NO PROBLEM"
I use some of the soap lathering my body in it smelling fully like a man . I get lost in my thought as the water rains down on me
Chris's pov-
I cant help but like her after the deep conversations we've had tonight , she listens so well it's like you could be in a room full of people but if your talking she'd make you feel like you're the most important one there . She is so sweet and she's been through so much I mean her mom , dad and sister have all died , I cant imagine going through all of that and still being and happy and sweet as she is . She's the most beautiful girl i've ever met inside and out and don't get me wrong there are plenty of beautiful girls in LA but none of them have the personality to match it . She is just authentic in herself and I can tell she doesn't care what others think of her and I love that about her .
I may have just met her but I feel like i've known her my whole life . I wish I had known her my whole life to be honest . I know its crazy that after meeting a girl I invited her back with me to stay the night but I feel safe with her . She had no idea who I was or that I was a YouTube or a triplet which adds to the many reasons I felt safe enough to invite her back with me .
I have no intention of making moves on her tonight I simply just like her company and why would I choose to be all alone when I can have her here with me . Now don't get me wrong gif she were to want to do something I wouldn't turn it down but i'm choosing to keep it respectful and friendly until she shows sign of wanting more .
Viennas pov-
I like Chris a lot I mean he's sweet , attractive , has a good relationship with his family he has goals and hobbys and he's been respectful the entire time we've been together , Most guys would have tried something sexual already but he's not most guys I can tell he's different . Im not saying I wouldn't do anything with him because trust me ... I would without a doubt but until he shows signs of wanting that i'm going to keep my cool .
I turn the water off and step out walking to the counter and wrapping myself in the towel and open the door looking around for any signs of him but see or hear nothing " CHRIS ..." " IN HERE , DOOR ALL THE WAY DOWN THE WALL " he calls out and I make my way towards where his voice came from . I open the door to see him laying on the bed shirtless and in grey sweatpants , I could drop dead right now from how hot he looks . He looks up at me as his eyes trail down my body making me nervous " shit sorry let me grab you those clothes I got distracted testing my bothers " he says getting up and walking to the closet " Oh you're good " I say . He walks back out handing me a sweatshirt and some boxers " Thank you " I say as I stand there awkwardly waiting for him to turn around or something so I can change . " Oh sorry i'll turn around " he says as he covers his eyes and turns around . I get changed and use the towel to get my hair a little dry " Okay you can turn around " I tell him and he does smiling down at me and he looks me up and down " That sweatshirt looks good on you " he smirks at me and I giggle "Thank you not gonna lie though I struggled to get these boxers over my ass " I say and he laughs " Well is that supposed to be a bad thing? " he asks making me roll my eyes playfully " Oh shut up " " I mean hey i'm just saying " he says putting his hands up making me laugh and smack his chest .
" SO you wanna watch a movie or are you tired ?" he asks as he goes to sit on the bed . " Mmm i'm not to tired so i'm down to watch a movie I say as I go to sit on the other side of the bed and he turns the tv on going to Netflix and starts screeching through movies .
" Oooh lets watch that one " I say as the clicker lands on insidious . "you like horror movies?" he asks as he looks at me and I nod " Love em " I answer smiling widely . " Fine you're lucky I like you " he says making me laugh " What you don't like horror movies ?" I ask smiling " Not really they creep me out but ill watch it for you" he says smiling and looking over at me and I return the smile.
We start the movie and I can hear his heavy breathing making me smile at how cute it is that he's scared . The movie gets to a part where there's a jump scare and he jumps so hard the bed moves and I laugh hysterically . " Oh shut the fuck up it's not that funny " he groans but starts laughing not being able to stay serious . " It was actually very funny " I say and I look at him . "Come closer " he says as he holds up his arm for me to scooch in right next to him . I lay my head on his warm chest , he lays one arm behind my head and onto my shoulder as his other one wraps to my waist pulling me closer . I feel so comfortable in his arms maybe even... safe which is a feeling I haven't had in a very long time. He lays his head on mine making me smile and snuggle in as close as possible as I drape an arm over his chest .
After a couple more jump scares Chris told me to turn the movie off saying and I quote " Im not scared or anything the movie just sucks" ending with an scoff as he looked away when the demon in the movie popped up so I turned it off as I giggled at how scared he obviously was . " So what should we watch instead then ... maybe my little pony" I say with a small laugh making him roll his eyes " Oh shut up just put something not scary on I don't care " he says smiling so I choose divergent instead one of my favorite movies .
We both enjoy the movie having small side conversations during it talking about how we both would want to be dauntless if the movie was real life or how cool the tattoo machines in the movie were . It's nice to share thoughts with someone and find common interests we have I haven't had that in a long time . Chris is like a breathe of fresh air after the past couple of years i've had ... I keep trying to forget the fact he's only here for a little while and I shouldn't get attached but it seems i've already failed at that.
Chris's pov-
I cant help but look down at Vienna as she watches the movie with the biggest smile . She is so effortlessly beautiful , i've just now understood what people mean when they say looks aren't everything . She is absolutely gorgeous but her personality is even more beautiful . Ive never met someone who i've just clicked with so quickly i'm still in shock at how much this friendship ... I mean whatever this relationship is has grown in only a couple hours . She's snuggles in so close to me and I find it adorable she looks so innocent and peaceful right now and I cant help but smile as I admire her. She has freckles all over her cheeks which i'm only now noticing , they make her even more beautiful.
The movie just ended and she looks at me smiling and I smile back. "So you tired or ...?" she asks as she maintains eye contact . " Not really no ... I am kinda hungry though" I say and she nods . " Yeah me to ... late night snack time?" she asks smiling and sitting up . " Yep " I say as I get up and walk to the door her following behind . We make it into the kitchen and I grab some chips for us and a water and one for her too. " Let's chill on the couch " I say as I start walking to the living room . " Its so pretty outside at night here" she says as she looks out of the large windows . " It really is dark as fuck though" I say and she nods " I know it gets so dark with all the woods around its kind of creepy but I love it" she says making me shake my head and chuckle " Its even more beautiful here in winter ugh it snows so much which honestly kind of sucks when I need to go places but its so pretty watching the snow fall and cover the trees " she says smiling and closing her eyes as if she's picturing it in her head " I love snow ... it snows a good amount in Massachusetts and it gets pretty fucking cold " I say and she looks at me smiling " I bet the snowball fights were crazy with you and your brothers " she says making me smile and nod " Oh yeah we went crazy as kids always out sledding or just running around in the snow " I say as I picture the memories playing out in my mind. " mmmm me and my sister would ride our horses through the trails on the land my house is on its was cold but it was so beautiful " she says smiling . " You have horses ?" I ask as I shove chips into my mouth " We used too yeah . We had a small little barn and had about 5 , my dad bought them when we were young . We would all ride together and we used to do little group trails rides for people but when he passed it was too much upkeep and money so I had to sell them " she says looking sad " Damn i'm sorry that sounds fun though " I say and she smiles and takes a sip of her water " It was ... some of my best memories were from rides as a kid ... one time oh my god * she laughs * so one time I think I was maybe 12 me and my dad were riding through the big field that led to the trails and a whole family of deer came out of nowhere running and my horse flipped out and took off oh god I don't think i've ever heard onto something so hard in my life . I was screaming which made the situation worse but seeing my dad chase after me was the funniest thing ever " she says as she laughs at the story making me laugh with her .
we sit and talk about funny memories from when we were kids for almost two hours . We finished the bag of chips and decided we should definitely get to sleep .
I lay down on my side of the bed getting comfortable " Hey is i'm kind of a hot sleeper so ... is it okay if I take off the sweats?" she asks seeming a bit nervous. " Of course get as comfortable as you need " I say smiling . " Okay I just didn't want to make you uncomfortable " she says smiling " Trust me you could strip naked right now and I would be everything but uncomfortable " I say laughing but instantly regret letting that slip out of my mouth " Well then ... good to know " she says laughing and I shake my head " I don't know why I said that" I say running my hands down my face " Its fine i'm not upset by it " she answers with a giggle . She slowly slides the sweat shirt I gave her off and I know I should look away but I cant ... my mouth drops when I remember she had nothing on underneath it . " Oh shit I forgot I had nothing on under it " she says as her face gets red and she turns away from me . " Vienna -" I start but she interrupts " No no thats so awkward i'm sorry I genuinely thought for some reason I had something on underneath" She rushes out as I see her arms move over her bare chest to cover it . " Vienna you don't have to apologize " I say as I stand up and walk to stand behind her as I lower my head to her ear " And you definitely do not need to hide from me " I whisper as my hands move to her arms sliding them off of her beautiful body. I don't know where this confidence has come from but i'm just letting it happen and she doesn't protest so thats a good sign .
She leans back into my chest with a sigh as my hands move from her arms to her stomach slowly inching my way back up to her chest . She whimpers quietly making me smile . " Chris I ... I haven't done things with a guy in a very long time " she says quietly as she turns to face me looking down at the ground . I move my hand to cup her face and make her look at me and she does " Its okay we don't have to " I say smiling at her and she smiles back shaking her head " No I want to I just ... I just don't want you to be disappointed with my ... inexperience I guess I don't know " she whispers biting her lip nervously making me smirk . " I won't be disappointed we'll work it out as we go okay " I say before I lean down and place a kiss on her head .
Viennas pov -
I nod as I look up at Chris nervously waiting for what is about to happen . Ive had sex before not with many but when I was with my ex boyfriends sex was definitely a main factor in the relationship. I don't know what Chris is into but i'm intrigued to find out .
He grabs me by the throat pulling me into him settling his lips on mine in a sloppy kiss. He squeezes my throat making me gasp and moan into the kiss making him smirk . He turns us and backs me up until I fall onto the bad .
He pulls his shirt over his head as I pull myself up and rest on my elbows watching him in awe. He comes back down kissing me then slowly moving down my neck. My breathing picks up when he kisses a spot that makes my pussy pulse and a whimper to escape my mouth. " Yeah that feel good" he whispers in a gravely voice making me clench my thighs around his waist and nod. " Use your words " he orders and I moan as he bites the spot on my neck. " Y-yes it feels good" I whine as I move my hands to his head running my fingers through his hair. He kisses down the valley of my breasts then taking one of my nipples in his mouth making me whine and arch into him . He pulls it through his teeth making a pain spread through my chest but it feels good at the same time making me whimper and squirm . He moves further down slowly sliding my bottoms off . He kisses my inner thighs making me whine " Chris p-please" " Please what tell me what you want " he whispers in a raspy voice and my face heats up out of embarrassment. " I need you please Chris .... stop teasing" I whine and he dives into my pussy making me gasp. Ive never had head that actually felt good or even felt like anything at all but this OH FUCK this was good. " Chris oh my g-god" I gasp and whine as I grip onto his hair tightly making him groan into me. He sucks ,licks and bites in all the perfect spots to have my legs trembling and my orgasm rushing in faster than i'd expected . " F-fuck c-chris im gonna cum" I moan as my legs tremble harder and my back arches . " uh uh not until you beg me for it " he says grabbing onto my shaking thighs holding them open with a harsh grip . " W-what?" I squeak out of shock but also pain of trying to hold my orgasm back . " You heard me Vienna. Now let me hear how pretty you sound begging " he grits out before going back in sucking even harder making me cry out " Fuck fuck Chris please please can I cum " I whimper out as the pain starts to become too much and I don't think I can hold it anymore . " Louder" he orders and I feel tears start to stream down my face " PLEASE PLEASE UHH PLEASE CAN I CUM" I scream out as I gasping and my grip gets even tighter on his hair . " Yeah you can cum" he says and I immediately fall over the edge . My entire body feels like it ignites into flames as I shake and twitch . " Good girl thats it " chris says as he uses his thumb to help me through my orgasm . I collapses back onto the bad and my hands slide out of his hear as I catch my breathe . " Did so good for me" he says as he positions himself over me . I look up at him and wait for what he's going to do next.
His hand slides over my cheek wiping away the tears . He slowly slides his boxers down and I watch as his dick pops out . Fuck there is no way thats fitting in me I think as I slowly panic . " Chris your... huge I don't think it'll fit" I say as I look back into his eyes with a worried look on my face . " Ill make it fucking fit " he rasps as he lines his tip with my entrance . I take in a breathe as he slowly slides the tip in and I groan from the stretch . " F-fuck your so tight" he groans as he slowly slides into me more . I try and breathe through the pain but Jesus Christ he's he stretching me out so much I feel like I could tear in half . " ahh chris I cant " I whimper as I place my hand on his chest trying to push him away. " Yes you can, I know you can " he says as he snaps his hips forcing his entire length into me . I scream as the pain only got worse now that he's all the way in . He slowly starts thrusting in and out and I breathe harshly as the pain slowly but surely fades away and i'm overtaken by full pleasure.
"Fuck your s-so deep" I whine as he starts thrusting harder and faster . His tip hits my g-spot with every thrust and I can help the moans , whines and screams he pulling out of me right now . " CHRIS OH MY -F-FUCK " I scream as I feel myself squirt around him making him groan " Fuck thats so hot" he groans as he starts pounding into me so hard I cant even think anymore. " Taking me so well . My good fucking girl " he groans as he places a hand around my neck making me moan loudly . He pulls out of me and flips me over so i'm laying flat on my stomach . He easily slides back into me from how soaked I am for him . The new angles he hits in this position have me seeing stars . He's fucked me dumb already, I can barley think let alone speak right now. The only thing I can do is whimper and let out raspy loud moans and he hits so deep in me my legs are trembling and I feel another orgasm coming in quickly . " You gonna cum for me again I can feel you clenching around me" he groans into my ear . I nod and cry out as I orgasm for the third time . Im shaking beneath him as I gasp and whine from how overstimulated i'm becoming .
" C-cant take it " I gasp out as I try and get away from him but he flips me over quickly and puts my legs on his shoulders then starts pounding into me deeper and harder than before making me scream . " Doing so good such a good little slut f'me" he groans as his rhythm starts to falter and get sloppy . Im whining and twitching as he hits deep making me feel like i'm going to squirt again . " F-fuck i'm gonna s-squirt" I gasp to as I feel the pressure building . " Go ahead baby give it to me" he groans and I feel my juices squirt out of me all over him and the bed below me . " Fuuck gonna let me fill you up?" he asks and I look at him nodding . " Fucking god " he groans as his hips falter and his cum fills my pussy making me moan . " so fucking good for me " he whispers and he drops my shaking legs from his shoulder and pulls out flopping down next to me . We're both breathing hard as we lay still . " That was the best sex i've ever had" he says as he pulls me into him . I nod and agree as I still try to fully catch my breathe.
"Lets go get cleaned up them go to bed" he says as he helps me get up . We shower off all the sweat and juices then get back in bed .
" Im so glad I met you" he says as he runs his fingers through my hair . I smile and look up at him " Me too ... I haven't felt this good in a long time " I say and he smiles at me " God I don't know how i'm going to leave at the end of the month " he groans as he holds me tighter. " Let's not worry about that right now ... let's just spend all the time we can together " I say as I softly rub his chest.
Through the course of the time we had before he left we went on cute picnics , swam in the lake , took late night drives to listen to music , face-timed his brothers who i've groan to love over this short amount of time , took walks around town , captured all the stupid but fun things we did , had movie nights , late night hot tub sessions , lots and loooots of amazing sex . Over all meeting Chris has been the best thing thats happened to me in a long time . It hurts to think about the fact he's leaving Tommorrow . Ive tried so hard to try and ignore the fact he'd have to leave me at some point I just wish it wasn't so soon.
We just got to the airport and he's getting his bags out of my trunk. I watch him as I feel the tears start to well in my eyes , i've tried my best to keep my emotions at bay but it just really hit me he's leaving and I don't know when i'll see him again. He look at me with a sad smile as he sees the tears that are spilling down my cheeks . " Come here " he says and I immediately hit him like my life depends on it . He smokes my hair as he soothes me with sweet words " trust me I don't want to leave but I have too " he says and I can hear him choke up a bit . " I- im just gonna miss you so much ... your my favorite person " I cry into his chest as he rubs my back and holds me tight " I know baby I know . Im gonna miss you so much but were gonna call and text and FaceTime any chance we get " he whispers and I nod " I know I just ugh i'm gonna miss having you with me " I sigh as I look up at him and sniffle " I know i'm gonna miss having you in my bed every night and seeing your face every morning but ill be back soon " he says sweetly as he cups my face " You promise?" I ask in a high pitched voice . " I promise and hey matt said he'd love to come here during fall which isn't to far away so you'll get to meet him and nick" he says smiling excitedly " Id love nothing more" I say as I smile .
I watch as he walks away to tsa and I jog back to my car as the tears stream down my face . I don't know how i'm going to function alone again now that I finally got taste of being happy and with someone every day for an entire month .
*cut to fall *
Chris matt and nick just landed and i'm waiting for them by the door excited to finally see Chris again . The second I see them round the corner my heart drops to my stomach , I want run and jump on his but I know he'd hate it so I stand and wait impatiently .
He drops his bags and wraps me in a tight hug lifting me off my feet making me giggle . " I missed you so much" he says making me smile " I missed you more" I says smiling holding his gaze until I break it to give matt and nick hugs . " Im so happy you guys came " I say excited as I lead them to my car.
I told them they could just stay at my house since its pretty fucking big and i'm the only one who lives in it . There is not point in them waisting money on a place to stay .
" So we were thinking of doing a little hike and maybe logging a bit does that sound good to you?" nick asks me as we all eat breakfast "Yeah of course i'm down for whatever" I reply smiling at him then leaning my head on Chris's shoulder .
Its been great having them here for a 2 weeks we all get along so well . Me and Chris have spent every night in bed talking and planning our future . We all spent halloween together , we dressed up and took pictures then watched all our favorite halloween movies .
They flew me down to Boston for Christmas and I met Chris's parents , they are the sweetest people ever. His mom Mary Lou made me feel so loved which is something I miss . The feeling of motherly love is something I've craved for a very long time and now meeting Chris and his family i've felt nothing but unconditional love from all of them .
*4 years later*
Chris proposed to me 2 years ago and i've never been so happy . Our wedding was everything i've dreamed of . I moved to la with him since it made the most sense for me to move instead of him . I still have my family home in Wisconsin which is now what we like to call our vacation home .
We've starting to try for kids and we've never been so happy .
I thank god even day that he brought Chris into my life all those years ago . Honestly i'm not sure id be here if it wasn't for him coming in and completely sweeping me off my feet .
I Cant wait for what the future holds and I dread the day when well no longer be on this earth together but until that day ... I'll cherish the man that saved me .
GOOG FUCKING GOD THIS SHIT WAS LONG . TOOK ME LIKE 30 DAYS TO FUCKING WRITE . IDK WHY ITS SO LONG BUT YOLO . IM TRYING TO GET BACK INTO POSTING AGAIN IVE JUST BEEN BUSY ASF .
LOVE YALL XOXO
💋
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hobaworld7 · 2 years ago
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Hello again! You've mentioned to feel free to send requests, so here i am)
I kinda feel like mine would be a little lame. But i am a fan of a good old angsty-argument-with-good-ending trope. Maybe if you have inspiration for that, you could've come up with something
❤️
BTS Reactions Hyung Line - An argument with your boyfriend
Pairing : seokjin x reader / yoongi x reader / namjoon x reader / hoseok x reader
Genre : angsty argument with a good ending
Warning : Yoongi's kinda an asshole, some fluff, mention of d3@th of a parent, cursing, morphine used, work accident.
Summary : You have an argument with your boyfriend, but you can stay mad at him, either can't he stay mad at you.
Disclaimer : BTS doesn't belong to me okayyy.
A/N : I had so much fun writing this, please do not hesitate to send request!! The maknae will come too soon!
ENJOY ARMY. @rainypainting
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SEOKJIN
Your boyfriend was on tour with his member. You were living alone in his apartment for three weeks now. You loved being alone, sleeping in his bed and everything. But you still missed him a lot. You were video-chatting every night, falling asleep on the phone.
Until the day you hurt yourself at work and had to go to the emergency room. You were climbing a ladder and loose balance, broking your phone in the accident. You hurt your ankle pretty bad since it took all the shook of your fall. Since it was late in the day when it happen, they had to keep you in observation for the night before doing a cast in the morning. It was the day Jin was supposed to come home but you were on high pain medication so you fell asleep at 8pm, not worrying about anything, completely high on morphine.
You woke up when you heard your name being scream.
-Where is Y/N?? Tell me where she is!!
You mumble something.
-Babe, i'm here.
Still half asleep.
-Mister please calm down, who are you?
-I'm SeokJin, her boyfriend! Her work called me to tell me she has an accident, where is she?
-She is in the room 403, but please stay calm, she is on morphine and probably asleep by now.
The door opens and the light hurt your eyes. You groaned and pull the comforter over your face.
-Hmmmm, close the door please.
He closes the door and hurry to be by your side.
-Babe are you okay? What happened?
-I just fell down a ladder and broke my phone. Just hurt my ankle a bit. Nothing much.
-You should've call me! I would've come to be with you. I was worried when you didn't call me and then your work call since i'm your emergency contact. Babe I was so worried.
He gently hugged you.
-Show me your ankle, is it bad?
-No, not bad at-
He removed the comforter from your legs. Your ankle was swollen and dark red with some blue because of the bone you broke in your foot.
-BABE! IT LOOKS SO BAD! You broke your feet and say that you hurt yourself a bit?! Are you in pain? Babe its blue!
-The doctor says it is normal, they'll put it in a caste tomorrow morning.
-Y/N please be careful in the future. I was worried to death.
He push you on the side of the bed so he can cuddle with you. Careful to not hurt your broken feet, he put one of his arms around your shoulder and hold your waist with the other one.
-I'm not leaving you.
-But your tour-
-It's done anyways, i'll take a week or two off to be with you.
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YOONGI
Your boyfriend just started his career in the music industry. You were barely seeing him. He was working two part time job and training every time he had a free minute. You love him so much, you truly does but damn it was hard on your relationship. You were always staying silent, encouraging as much as you can. Making some meals for him and his members but today, today he made a big mistake and you couldn't forgive him just yet.
It was the one year memorial for your mother. She die last year from cancer when you started dating Yoongi. He never met her but he knows how important she was for you and that dinner was too.
You were waiting outside of your childhood home, freezing during this early November night. You called Yoongi three times already. He was supposed to be here an hour ago. You decided to close your cellphone and just talk to him when you get home.
The night went great. It was very emotional but it was good to see all your family and friends together, celebrating the amazing women that was your mom. Your dad drop you off at your apartment and thanked you. You hugged him and went into your building apartment. Once you were in front of your apartment door you could hear some cheers and loud noises. Yoongi was on the couch with Hoseok and Jimin. He turn his face towards you when he heard the door and when he saw that dress he realized he fucked up. He closes his phone and completely forgot about the memorial.
-Jimin, Hoseok. Out. Now. Yoongi will call you later. Thank you.
You sounded angry and it kinda scared his friend so in less than a minute they were out of the door. You took off your high heels and without caring about the noise it would made, throw them by the door.
-Why Yoongi? Just why? I only ask you one thing! To be by my side on the one night I need you! I always support you, and tolerate all your nights away. Why?
-I'm sorry Y/N. We had a big day and I wanted to relax-
He fucked up once again.
-Yoongi! I needed you tonight. I really needed you by my side.
The tears were running down your cheeks.
-Please, could you pay attention to me for once? Could you, please, love me for once? And support me? I fucking hate you Yoongi!
He was angry. Why were you thinking that he didn't care about you? He was working and training so hard because he wanted to give you the best futur possible. He was doing it for you and him.
-If you hate me that much, why the fuck are you still hear Y/N!? Leave if you hate me. I guess we weren't meant to be!
You drop your bag and go to the bedroom, slamming the door behind you. You spent the night crying in your bed, hugging his pillow. You know that your reaction was because your feelings were hurt. You were so scared to get out of the bedroom and see that Yoongi left.
It was around 7am when you got out of bed. Your face was all puffy and you were wearing his shirt, his hoodie and his short. Yesterday you were really angry, but sleeping without him by your side was hard so you wear his clothes to help you. The apartment was still dark because the curtains were all close. You walk to the couch to see Yoongi deeply sleeping, hugging a pillow, like it was you he was hugging. You took the pillow and gently throw it on the floor. Yoongi mumble something, but stayed asleep. You decided to lay on him, your eyes still teary. He suddenly wake up when he felt your presence on him. His arms went around your shaking body and he hugged you like you were a fragile piece of paper in a thunderstorm. He wasn't about to let you go away from him.
-I'm sorry Y/N. Tell me what I can do. Forgive me my love please.
He kissed your forehead and stroke your back. You start crying again, mumbling some incomprehensible sentences.
-Yoongi, I love you. I'm sorry.
He kissed again and again your face and hug you tightly.
-Don't be, please, it's my fault. I love you so freacking much Y/N.
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NAMJOON
You started dating Namjoon a few weeks ago. You knew him since high school but since he became a superstar early in his life, you lost contact. You met again two months ago during an high school reunion and realize you both used to have feeling for each other. As times passed, you realize you were still in love with him. His caring personality, his goofy laugh and just every part he is. He was working hard as a leader of a group and a solo artist and you were busy with your study. Exam week was coming for your med school and you were spending as much time as you could studying.
It was a sunny Sunday morning, you drank your coffee and started studying. Your cellphone was on do not disturb and you forget to tell your boyfriend. But he knows you were studying and you were so concentrate in your books to bother. The day passed and then the night too. You barely eaten or left your desk until you heard someone knocking hard at your door.
-Yeah! Wait! I'm coming!!
You put on a hoodie and went open the door, just to see an angry Namjoon.
-Babe, you oka-
-Why didn't you answer my text? I was so worried Y/N! I texted you all day! I was trying to contact you between my dance and singing lessons. I couldn't focus properly because I was scared something happen to you.
You look at the time and the thousand texto you receive in the last 12 hours. Okay, he had every rights to be worried. You really fucked up. You put your hands on his cheeks and kiss his lips.
-I'm sorry babe.. I was studying and didn't saw the time passing. I should've text you.
-Please, communicate with me next time. I need to know what you are doing when you don't answer in a long time because I get worried something happened to you. And I can't focus when I am worried for you my love.
-I'm sorry Namjoonie, won't happen again.
He hug you and stroke your hair for a bit.
-I guess you didn't eat a lot today? So what about a break and we can watch a movie and order some food?
-Sounds amazing Namjoonie.
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HOSEOK
You always danced. Since you were almost three years old you were taking dance class. Now you were a reputed dancer in the Asian industry. You have your own dance studio and the wait list is more then a year long. But last month, you hurt your leg pretty badly. You tore one of your ligament in your right leg. You did a lot of physio and took some pain meds. It was getting better but you missed dance so much. It was getting pretty bad on your mental health.
Your boyfriend knew it and he was trying to distract you and take care of you as much as he could. In the past month, you didn't leave your apartment. You were miserable. You missed dance so much.
One night, when Hoseok was away, you decided to go to your studio to start practicing dance again.
__
You were laying on the floor. Your knee was hurting a lot even after just one dance. But you wanted to get better rapidly so you got up again, ignoring the pain and start dancing again. You moan in pain when the door open to let a Hoseok worried enter.
-Babe, what are you doing, you shouldn't be dancing for another month.
-I wanna get back soon. I have to practice so my knee heal!
Your movement were jerky. Your body was shaking because of the pain in your leg. You fall on the floor after a failed attempt of a dance move. Hoseok runs toward you and held your body near him. You were exhausted and in pain.
-Y/N. You can't do that again. You can't dance. I know dance is all you love but please, you need to take care of your body. You need to rest.
-I can't- I can't stop dancing Hoseokkie. Dance is all I know, all I love. I need it to escape my thoughts, to gain money. I need dance to live.
-I understand babe, but you are sabotaging yourself right now and I can't accept that. I can't tolerate you, hurting yourself.
You stand up, with difficulty.
-No you don't understand Hoseok! I can't rest for another month. I can't feel your worried look every time i get up of bed or every time i start exercise to get better. Leave, leave if you can't support me!
-Y/N, I'll never leave you okay, but right now you can't continue like this!
He approached you and put his arms around your waist. You leg was hurting so much. You buried your face in his neck. He put his arm on your back and get down to put his arms around the back of your knee. He lift you up like a princess and get you out of the studio.
-I love you Y/N, and I'll always be there for you. But right now, you need to rest a bit okay? I'm not leaving your side for an entire month if I need to make sure you stay in bed and heal your leg.
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Masterlist is here if you want to read more of my imagines!
Maknae line (In writing)
THANKYOU ARMY
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c0rpseductor · 10 months ago
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i only got 7 hours of sleep somehow. even though i was exhausted. my body was like hmmm 3am you say? sounds like an awesome time for you to be awake now. even though you fell asleep at 8pm
so ill probably need a nap at some point. im still wiped but i just dont really feel sleep-ready. maybe i'll take a nice hot shower after hanging out a little more this morning and see if that helps me get some more z's in
i woke up and immediately started thinking about creative projects again. music and conlanging and website and shit. idk what is WITH the situation i have where i get physically exhausted and my brain is like This is a really good time to do a lot of tiring mentally intensive work! I really want you to do this! like not that i usually have much energy but i always feel like i get especially inspired or itchy to work on stuff when im too physically and mentally exhausted to actually manage it
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f1rewalk3r · 11 months ago
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Holy fuck just passed out at 8pm for 3 hours and had a weird Otherverse dream. guess i was exhausted after my gig?
it’s worth noting my condition: I fell asleep on my couch, fully clothed in a super slutty outfit, with boots AND long underwear on. i was sitting up, and fighting off the sleep was impossible. maybe because i woke up early sunday and didnt catch up on enough sleep?
i had a lot of dreams but the end is what i remember: i was with my band and we were heading up this hill. he was telling us about the rules of this competition, where you build a tiny shitty shack and then invite the fae in try and fuck with you and you have to try and stay in the house; if you survive 3 days, you won a big prize.
we were off to attempt this competition and met the coordinators who shower us other house attempts and then we started to build our own, it was super frat-bro energy and i didn’t like the organizers.
at one point i made a joke that i was probably going to kill myself doing this. now i say this phrase a lot irl. because (1) duh and (2) its fucking funny and (3) rings true, or else it wouldn’t be a meme phrase.
but in the dream, everyone recoiled and reacted in shock. “what the fuck, why would you say that,” etc. it was so bad i pulled my trump card, which i literally almost never play irl. “omg im so sorry idk why i did i have adhd sometimes things just slip out.”
i also thought it was because i wasnt drunk, which was like. again a key part of this frat bro competition. so i had to BUY a drink from one of the organizers of the competition. then chug it really fast because i was sad. i ended up spilling a lot. i finally realized that i should probably leave. so i told my band leader that this was his thing, and that i was gonna dip.
as i did, a fairy appeared to me on my walk home! i say fairy- she was much more prototypical tinkerbell then true fae. she kinda looked gross and sticky and snotty, though, and boogers would appear where she stuck her feet.
so booger and i walk downtown and she’s telling me that they suck i’m right never did anything wrong and etc…. we climb up a stream that was flowing down the super inclined sidewalk for some reason. she tells me that as per the rules of the challenge the walls don’t even have to be touching.
so then i suggest that i could own the organization epic style by going around downtown to walls with special directional or spiritual significance/energy and then challenge the fae over a space as big as the whole downtown, and that would make it harder to fuck with me specifically, and i could win the challenge. as she screamed repeatedly in delight and joy, my conscious mind realized she was probably an abyssal being, and that this sounded like a really bad idea actually, and that i should wake up.
and then i ran here to post this! thoughts?
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viasdreams · 9 days ago
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i just woke up from a nap (i fell asleep at 11am & its now 8pm) but i had a dream abt ten leaving nct and i sobbed so violently when i woke up it was actually so embarrassing
this is what i do when im off work 😞💔
oh ive been there
like a month before the truth about t**il came out, i had a dream that he died and it felt so real
TWEAKED ME OUT I WAS SO SAD
and then the news dropped and he effectively died in my eyes sooooooooo call me a psychic
im not gonna call you one tho CUZ THATS NOT GONNA HAPPEN!!!
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